Nankins Wanderings

No Way!

2012-02-11T17:05:00.001-05:00

Whether you call it Hillbilly Hand Fishing, Okie Noodling or Mud Catting, the answer is, "Oh, hell no!" Why on God's green Earth would anyone want to stick their hand into a muddy, dark hole under the water where anything might be lurking. Then there's the issue of knowingly and willingly jamming your hand into the mouth of a giant catfish.

No, catfish don't have teeth, but they do have sharp spines that hurt when you get stuck. Besides, how would you like it if some jerk came along, invaded your home and stuck his fist in your mouth?

Okay, so I'm a wimp. I admit it, but I just don't get the attraction. Where there's water, you know there's going to be snakes and other creepy-crawlies. You know, like snakes, crayfish, bugs and reptiles.

Now there seems to be a plethora of shows on television about this, "sport" with a bunch of voluptuous young women trying their luck with hairy, toothless men as instructors.

Well...maybe that answers the question for the men, but the women??? I rest my case.

When in Rome...

2012-01-16T14:54:00.000-05:00

I was watching a program last night about Rome and was surprised to find out that they had a "Social Security" program called Bread and Circuses. What this consisted of was free bread and games for all citizens.

One of the points made was that anyone could become a citizen if they swore allegiance to the emperor. There was more to it than that, but this is the simple version. Not only were these citizens provided free food and entertainment, they were given nice places to live. All that was required of them was blind devotion.

As you might guess, some citizens put their free time to good use and thought of ways to add to their basic income. You know, like work for it? Many became wealthy and influential in their communities. While others sat back on their fat asses with their hands out saying "gimme".

So in a society where food, lodging and entertainment was a given, poverty set in and the gulf between the poor and the wealthy became an insurmountable gulf. And the people cried, "Gimme more".

Now...if you ask me, this is cutting a little too close to home. Is this what our government and Emperor Obama have in store for us? Remember, Rome, the first mega power in the world fell.

Now That I've Made It

2012-01-12T14:51:00.000-05:00

Now that I've actually made it to the hallowed halls of retirement...it doesn't seem real. Everyday I get up and think I need to get ready for work. I keep thinking that they're going to send out a search party to drag me back to my desk. Then I remember, nope I took the VERP, Voluntary Early Retirement Package.

I would have been foolish to turn it down since management made it abundantly clear they want fresh, young voices in the office. That's okay, but there wasn't much to the package part. I figured if I didn't take it, my job might mysteriously evaporate in the next six months or so. I've seen it happen before.

When I stop to think that this was supposed to be a temporary job, I should be thankful. Nearly 38 years later, here I sit at my PC writing and trying to figure out what to do next. I have lots of plans, but the big question is whether they will produce income.

Top of the list is to become a freelance copy editor/writer. I purchased my domain name yesterday and I'm working on getting my web page up and running. One of these days (not yet, though) stop by to visit. NancyKHarmon.com.

Amelia Frump and herPeanut Butter Loving, Overactive Imagination

2012-01-11T13:29:00.000-05:00

I said I was going to start doing book reviews, so here's my first. I had not intended to review children's books, but at the request of Debbie Roppolol, the author, I agreed.
This delightful book threw me at first because when I think of children's books, I think of lots of pictures and few words. Then I realized that it is intended for a slightly older group. I had to remember what I was reading at that age, and it all fell into place.

Amelia is right at the age when she's trying to figure out who she is and where she fits in the scheme of life. With few friends, she feels like an outcast. Even though Amelia thinks she's too old for "monsters under the bed", she still suffers a nightly battle with the monsters of her imagination. Finally she confronts the monsters in a dream and comes to grips with them and her imagination.

What a delightful way to deal with the issues facing young children even if they think they're too grown up for such baby things. I intend to mail this book to my granddaughter in California. Although she's too young to read, she loves books and having Mommy read to her.

Count Down

2011-12-22T09:30:00.000-05:00

I'm wondering why I volunteered to stay until the bitter end instead of using up vacation time. I must have been feeling magnanimous when my
coworkers said they'd like time off at Christmas.

This is a notoriously slow time of year for construction so there's not a lot going on. I'm taking the opportunity to change email addresses on accounts and newsletters that I subscribe to. I never realized how many there are.

I've finished my copyediting class and will be ordering business cards and endeavoring to drum up clintele. It would be so nice if I could work from home. Maybe I could actually finish one of the novels I've been working on for decades.

I'm so looking forward to retiring, but I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around the concept. I've worked at JCP for more than half my life, but I've been assured there is life outside the office.

Retirement

2011-11-30T15:53:00.000-05:00

As of tomorrow, I have 21 working days until I retire. It's been 37 years and 8 month since I went to work as a temp. Not bad.

To use a trite saying, it will be bittersweet. Yes, I will miss some of my coworkers. No, I won't miss dragging my butt out of bed at 5:30 evey morning. It used to be 4:30 when my kids were little and I had an hour's drive.

I've already started cleaning out my office. I have to wonder where did all of this stuff come from? And what do I do with the plaques and awards I've received over the years? They're not something I would put on display at home, but they do have meaning.

I'll figure it out. I already have plans of things I want to do. The first couple of days may be, NOTHING!

Coming Soon to a Blog Near You

2011-11-01T15:29:00.000-04:00

One of the things I've been wanting to do with this blog for quite some time are book reviews. I've been an avid reader since I was 8 years old and discovered the school library. That should quailfy me for something.

Maybe I can even put the vast amount of critique to use that I've received over the past 4 or 5 years. There are some really good books out there now, and some not so good, so I'm going to go for it.

Bald Is Beautiful?

2011-07-21T19:19:00.000-04:00

It all depends on which commercial you listen to. Some would have you believe that you're less of a man if you have no hair. Somehow women will find you less appealing if you have a shiny dome. Men are encouraged to slather on the latest miracle salve guaranteed to regrow a glorious mane making you the life of the party. And what about those hair transplants? Sounds painful to me.

Then again, if you have hair on your chest, back, abdomen or other unmentionable areas, you're suddenly a Neanderthal not fit to be seen in respectable situations. Shave it off? Wax it off? Rip it off with chemically treated strips. The choices abound.

So where does all this leave the man who refuses such measures? I've seen some pretty hideous comb-overs. One guy must have had a two foot long shock of hair growing behind his ear and then wound turban style about his head. Can you imagine the hairspray it took to keep that in place? The alternatives are hairpieces or the razor. Personally, I'd rather see a bit of skin than a crappy looking toupee.

To bald or not to bald, that is the question.

It Was So Hot

2011-07-14T18:21:00.002-04:00

If this was Hollywood Squares, that would be the audience's cue to answer Jan Murray with, "How hot was it?" but this is north Texas in mid July. My thermostat in the car read 103 when I came in from work.

My poor plants, even the established ones, are wilting at an alarming rate. My tomatoes, cucumbers and basil look like they were attacked by agent orange.

I went out back to water those in pots and set the sprinkler and within two minutes I was sweating. Not to mention the mosquitos feasting on my blood. Mosquitos love me.

I really hate winter and cold weather, but right now, a chilly breeze wafting through the tree tops would be nice. A summer shower would be a small slice of heaven. I could even handle a cool 90 degrees.

Old Fashioned

2011-07-13T14:49:00.001-04:00

I admit it. I'm old fashioned...and maybe, just getting old. Business casual around the office appears to be more casual and less business. Shorts? Spaghetti straps? Flip-flops? Jeans with holes? CFM heels?

There used to be a big poster in the copy room when I came to this office labeled "Dress Code". I think management was afraid they'd get sued for discrimination, or cruel and unusaul punnishment, or whatever. So it faded into the sunset one night when no one was looking along with men's ties.

And one of those minor faux pas that irks me to death is shoes without some type of stocking. We got sent to detention in school for not wearing PEDS with our flats. Or bobbie socks with tennis shoes. Worse, in high school it was hose with a garter belt (obviously invented by some man) or a gridle. Pantyhose didn't come along until I was out of school.

Going soxless to me is like going commando. How unsanitary. Think of those ten little piggies snuggled into yesterday's toe jam. Yech! That's like having skid marks in your suit pants.

I've Heard That One Before

2011-07-07T18:44:00.001-04:00

As a wannabe writer it's difficult to read a book without critiquing. I've noticed in many instances that well known, published writers often grow lazy. They're not held to the same standards as a newbei. Instead, they continue to sell books on their name...not talent.

I'm not saying they don't have talent, just that POV, sentence structure, punctuation and lack of plot are overlooked for those who are fortunate enough to have broken into print.

Am I jealous? No...maybe... I've read some pretty bad stinkers by established authors. Many prolific writers appear to have a formula for their books. Read a couple of their plots, and they start to become very familiar. Thus the title of this post.

Now that I've said my piece, I'll crawl back under my rock.

Calorie Counting

2011-06-08T14:46:00.000-04:00

I was curious about how many calories were in a saltine cracker since I often eat 2 or 3 for a midmorning snack. So I went to Google and did an inquiry, but after reading a couple of sites I was no more enlightened than I was before.

The first site said one serving is 160 calories but I have a hard time believing that one of those little 2"x2" squares of dry bread is 160 calories. I scratched my head and looked for a definition of one serving. Definition was not to be found.

I moved on to the next site and discovered that one cup of saltines is 300 calories. Okay, who eats their saltines by the cup? Further explanation indicated that the saltines were crushed. Again, who eats crushed saltines? Depending on how finely crushed these satines are, you could get more or less in a cup. So how valid is the statement that there are 300 calories in one cup of crushed saltines?

At this point, I gave up and decided to enjoy my midmorning snack without further guilt laden upon my shoulders by the health police.

What The Hell?

2011-06-07T19:41:00.003-04:00

I was listening to the radio this morning and heard that the CEO of GM supports another gasoline tax up to a dollar per gallon. His thinking is that this would encourage people to buy new, more fuel efficient cars. Oh sure, that makes a lot of sense. NOT! If you can't afford 5.00 a gallon it's a done deal that you can afford to buy a new car and make payments for the next five or six years and that'll save you money. I say again NOT!

Gee, and I wonder what brand of GM he would have you purchase? no I didn't check this out on Snopes So maybe I'm spreading rumors. With any luck I'm spreading rumors. I sure as hell can't afford 5 bucks a gallon or a new car.

Road Rage

2011-06-06T20:38:00.001-04:00

No, not me. I was in the right place this morning to witness two grown men acting like idiots. I have no idea what started the encounter, but I was sitting at a light and looked up just in time to see idiot #1 throw coffee at idiot #2's SUV. There was no mistaking that he was just emptying his cup on the ground. The SUV's passenger window was open so I assume there had been some exchange of words after one or the other cut the other guy off.

Idiot #2 first pulled his SUV into the front bumper of the other car and then got out and stood in front of idiot #1's car. I'm sure I wasn't the only one thinking how stupid! What if the driver had pulled a gun and come out blazing? What if he'd simply run idiot #2 over and never looked back?

Finally the guy in the car managed to pull around the guy standing in the road and this was at 7:30 in the morning. Can you imagine what the rest of their day was like? Let's hope nobody went home and beat the kids or kicked the dog.

Cars

2011-05-31T10:03:00.000-04:00

There's a movie called "Cars" but my ol' Jeep is nothing like those cute, animated little creations. I took it in Saturday for an oil change and the air conditioning was gargling so I asked the service manager if they could look at it. Of course there was no air conditioner guys working Saturday, but I could bring it in Monday (a holiday).

Monday morning, bright and spiffy I reported back to the dealer. He got the mechanic to take a ride with me and of course there was no noise. No gargling, no chirping, no whining, no hiccoughs; just a quietly running engine.

Good part is I didn't have to leave it at the dealer and no repair bill. Bad part is summer has arrived in north Texas. I figure it'll breakdown the hottest day of the year.

Anyway, I went home and dusted off the table saw and worked on a long overdue project. That didn't go well either. I forgot to measure twice and cut once.

New Toy

2011-05-04T22:45:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting here playing with my new toy. I treated myself to an iPad 2. Yahoo, what a great tool. I just have to learn how to use it now. Remember we're talking about someone who doesn't even have a smart phone.

On Aging

2011-01-26T10:18:00.000-05:00

I’m going bald.

What’s left is turning gray.

My chin is sprouting spiky hairs.

And I can no longer see to pluck them.

Just seeing is a thing of the past.

I have three pairs of glasses…

and can’t find any of them.

Alas, my trim waist has disappeared

along with my glasses.

I seem to find all the weight

other people have lost.

My arms are adorned with dewlaps.

Gravity is winning the battle.

I now have sags…

where I never had places.

There’s a caboose knocking

at my back door,

obliterating my tracks

as I shuffle along.

Puberty was a picnic…

compared to menopause.

Speaking of pause…

I often get lost…

on the way to somewhere.

If only I could remember

where I was headed…

and why…I’d be just fine.

And, oh…did you say something?

I’m sorry, I didn’t quite hear.

Down the Toilet

2011-01-18T15:54:00.000-05:00

Well, not exactly. We called the city approximately 3 to 4 months ago because the toilets were going glub, glub, glub when we ran laundry, the dishwasher or took a shower. They came out and said, yes there's a problem and we'll be back.

A couple of days later, they were out to mark all the utility lines with spray paint and flags. They told Jimbob they'd be back as soon as possible.

You've probably guessed by now that was the last time we've seen a city crew except on the next street over. Things have escalated beyond tolerable. Jimbob called and left a message Saturday, but of course the city doesn't work weekends or MLK day.

Finally, they put in an appearance this morning to say that they couldn't come until next week. All the markings are no longer good and they will need to start over.

Reality TV or People Behaving Poorly

2011-01-06T10:53:00.000-05:00

I'm sure that I'm a minority, but I've thought for a long time that reality TV is just an excuse for people to behave like jerks. The more bizarre they act, the more the audience seems to like it.
Just look at Survivor. The producers even come up with "games" to make the program interesting. Now, American Chopper is capitalizing on the rift between father and son. Screaming at each other and throwing chairs is not my idea of entertainment.
Hoarding, Animal Hoarding and other such shows horrify the watcher with the desperate conditions some people live in. The Bachelor and Bachelorette rank right up there with these other sick programs.
Why not have a show titled Suicidal Depression...or Welfare Life...or My Affair With My Father?
Oh, I forgot we currently have My Strange Addiction and Monsters Inside Me. Jerseylicios is beyond words and I gag every time I see an add for Jon and Kate plus 8.
Yeah, I know, it makes money. The all powerful buck has thrown morals and decency out the window.
My idea of reality TV is Dancing With the stars and I've even quit watching that. I'm not a TV snob. I simply don't feel better watching the plight of someone worse off than me. And don't even get me started on TV sitcoms. I get enough insults to my intelligence at work.

If I Could, I Would

2011-01-04T09:18:00.000-05:00

I can't take credit for this. I wish I knew who did write it, because I'd be happy to give this person their dues. I've worked hard all my life, scrimped and saved, denied myself the luxuries that so many take for granted and now with the current political climate of giving away my (and your) hard earned cash, I'll be lucky to retire before I die.

Put me in charge ...

Put me in charge of food stamps. I’d get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho’s, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job.

Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I’d do is to get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we’ll test recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine and document all tattoos and piercings. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, smoke or get tats and piercings, then get a job.

Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks? You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your “home” will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place.

In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a “government” job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22-inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the “common good.”

Before you write that I’ve violated someone’s rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules.. Before you say that this would be “demeaning” and ruin their “self esteem,” consider that it wasn’t that long ago that taking someone else’s money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem.

If we are expected to pay for other people’s mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.

Security Words

2011-01-03T09:17:00.000-05:00

Type the letters shown below exactly as they are seen. How many times do we see this message when leaving a comment or signing into an account? It wouldn't be so bad, except that the letters make no sense, are in strange colors and are wavy, or stretched to unrecongnizable proportions.

I'm all for being safe, but there are times it takes me 2...3...4 tries to get them right. Maybe I'm in the minority. a little blind, or senile. I just want to leave an occassional comment for my blogging buddies; no top-secret encoded messages that will jepordize national security. I'm not posting plans for a nuclear attack...a terrorist inflitration.

Oh, and by the way, I hope that the new year treats everyone with blessings and prosperity.

Happy New Year

2010-12-29T08:38:00.000-05:00

Another year has flown by. When I was a kid, a year was forever. People told me that would change as I got older. I didn't believe them. The arrogance of youth. I should have listened to my parents.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!

Thursday Slump

2010-09-23T09:41:00.000-04:00

There's just something about Thursdays that catch me short. The week is more than half over and I'm looking forward to the weekend, but I frequently experience an unexplained slump in outlook.

This picture has nothing to do with today's post, but I liked the little guy and wanted to share. I took his portrait on one of my walks around the neighborhood.

Turning Into a Number

2010-09-17T15:48:00.001-04:00

We have passwords and user ID's for all sorts of accounts, car payments, house payments, credit cards, work access, blogging, email, Facebook and myriad other applications. And we mustn't forget PIN's for debit cards, phone banking and who knows what else. We're warned not to use the same ones for everything, but how are you supposed to remember which password is for which account?

In addition, using your spouse's, kid's or pet's name is taboo. You should never include a loved one's birthday, phone number or Social Security number. Obviously writing passwords on a Post-It-Note and sticking it to your monitor is stupid, but I've seen it done. So, do you write them on a cryptic note and place it under the lining of your shoe?

Why not just give us a universal microchip to flash whenever or wherever needed? They do it for cattle. No more passwords. No more user ID's. No more passports. No more security badges for work. No more debit cards with their inherent PIN's. No more screwing up account access with the wrong password and user ID combination.

ObamaCare could be keyed on your microchip. Dishonest doctors and care givers would have more problems falsifying treatment. We might even get a handle on those who have no legal right to health care...or to be in this country in the first place. No chip...no care. If you tie Social Security to the microchip, maybe those enterprising souls who file for benefits on dead people would be stopped once and for all.

But, you say, this smacks of big brother. Of course it does. Unfortunately it looks like this is the fate our great country is headed for. The more freebies we demand from the government, the more we are being regarded as a number. I for one, plan to go down fighting tooth and nail. I may not win, but I can be heard!

Growing Old

2010-09-15T15:33:00.000-04:00

Growing old is a lot like having kids. Nobody gives lessons, there's no instruction book or learner's permit and nobody tells you the truth. Sure I heard that growing old isn't for sissies, but damn, that doesn't begin to sum up the indignities of aging. Golden years, my behind!

Body parts that we never knew we had, hurt or fail to operate with normal use. Hair grows on your chin and falls off your head. Ugly brown "liver" spots miraculously appear on your hands. Your feet can suddenly grow a half size and those pants you've worn for the past couple of years shrink in your closet. Not to mention that your nose and ears continue to grow forever.

Myopic eyes (near sighted) never pass 20-20 on their roller coaster ride to presbyopic. Bifocals, or trifocals become the norm with no guarantee that you'll ever be able to read the fine print.

If you're lucky, you still have your teeth, but who cares because your stomach refuses to digest in the requisite manner. Let's not even go there when it comes to other digestive functions.

Add insult to injury, your boss refers to you as the senior whatever, and then has to explain that he didn't mean your age. During your review, he asks when do you plan to hang it up.

But...I suppose it beats the alternative plan.

Fall-Sort Of

2010-09-14T08:17:00.000-04:00

Labor Day in north Texas was glorious. Mid to high 80's. We were lulled into thinking that fall was finally on the way. Wrong! Fall doesn't arrive in Texas until October or November. One week later, it's winter.

Weekend Repairs

2010-09-13T08:33:00.001-04:00

My son called me about noon on Saturday. He needed help replacing the kitchen sink and faucet. Of course, I said yes. Something like that is always easier with two people. I didn't bother to mention to him how much I hate plumbing.

We ran over to Home Depot to pick up what we needed, then headed to his house. Everything went well until it was time to re-install the garbage disposal. I'd done this several years back but couldn't remember all the steps. We turned to the the Internet for help. Who knew that the proper placement of a rubber gasket could be so crucial?

Well, now he has a beautiful new sink, and I'm jealous. I have one of those stainless steel pieces of junk and I hate it. I also have bruises all over my side where I was laying under the sink. Damn! This getting old sucks.

I'm Still Here

2010-04-30T15:08:00.001-04:00

A good friend reminded me today that I'd been absent from the blog world for a while. I haven't gone anywhere. My sister and her granddaughter came for a week, and I've spent the last two weeks trying to get caught up at the office.

I even took my laptop home and weeded out the garbage from my in box, but still came back to over 200 messages. And that doesn't count the ones that come in every day.

BTW-yesterday was by 36th anniversary with the company.

First Day of Spring

2010-03-22T13:46:00.000-04:00

Wow! Sunday was the first full day of spring for 2010.

Let's have a cookout.

Will someone set the table?

Everyone find a seat.

We even have a little snack for the birds.

What Next?

2010-03-19T14:15:00.000-04:00

My sweet daughter called me last week to tell me that she broke her wrist learning to snowboard. This was on Thursday and the only good thing about it was, the 2 1/2 year old grandbaby would be spending the next four days with her father. At least Miss B would have a little time to recuperate.

Last night I talked to my son's girlfriend and she told me JC had broken his foot the night before. Something about the bed not moving when it came into contact with his foot.

I'm beginning to wonder if I should sequester myself in a padded room for the next couple of days. Of course, broken bones are not infectious, let's just hope they're not hereditary either.

Reunion

2010-03-15T15:40:00.000-04:00

Late last fall, Jimbob received a call from a man who said he thought he was his father. No, this wasn't some love child from a dark past. Many years ago Jimbob was forced to give up custody of his infant son. For 56 years, he's wondered where his son was; what he was like.

Now he knows. The first meeting was a little scary for both of them. Neither knew what to expect, but it's worked out wonderfully. Jimbob's son and his family have been enfolded into the clan without reservation.
They've spent several afternoon's catching up on a lifetime.

Who said God doesn't answer prayers?

The End

2010-03-08T11:03:00.000-05:00

Almost a year ago to the date, I asked when was enough, enough. A coworker was suffering from cancer and was in enormous pain in the process of being "healed". Well, this weekend, the matter was taken from human hands. This person had refused treatment since the beginning of 2010, but he still came to work whenever he was able. Finally the disease overwhelmed his body and there was nothing left to do except trying to keep him comfortable.

It's so sad to see a vibrant human being waste away to a shell of their former self. I pray that in his release from his body, he has found peace and comfort.

Observations

2010-02-18T14:59:00.003-05:00

If you're like me, I like to think that the majority of the people whom I work with are at least simi-intelligent. However, I've taken note of several incidences recently that have me wondering.

Item #1. with our new and improved security around the office, many of the interior doors have been set up to open automatically when you scan your badge. Like all mechanical devices, these same doors are subject to malfunction once in a while. A week or so back, a young woman and her entourage of vendors with all their 15 sample suitcases went up to the door, scanned her ID and waited for it to open. She tried several times with no results. She looked at her companions and said, "We'll have to go to the other door. This one isn't working." I'm thinking is your arm broken? How did you get in before they were automated. Place hand on door handle and pull you idiot!

Item#2. We have a young woman in our department who has an architectural degree. She brings a fruit smoothie with lots of pulp for breakfast every morning. For the longest time, she would dump the dregs in the lavatory sink. Problem was that all that pulp clogged the sink and we had to call maintenance on a daily basis. The other day I observed this same woman run water into her smoothie container and then dump it into the trash. Yuck! What a mess. You'd think she could figure out that if she stepped around the corner, she could pour the dregs into the toilet and flush away the evidence.

Item #3. I can never understand how anyone can smoke a cigarette in a non-smoking office and think no one will ever know. You would have thought something like this would have gone out the door a long time ago, but no...it still happens.

Record Snow

2010-02-12T11:17:00.000-05:00

For those of you who live in a cold climate, this is no biggie. But for us north Texans, 11 inches of snow in one day is monumental. We don't normally get that much in a year.

This and the next picture are inside the office. I took these just for contrast.

And here's....Johnny. No wait...that's snow.

Who's That Beautiful Girl?

2010-02-08T10:10:00.000-05:00

Okay, this is really sad. A while back I visited my daughter's Facebook and looked at her pictures. It's about the only way I get to see my granddaughter since Mommy is not very good at keeping me updated. I ran across this photo and thought what a pretty girl and quickly forwarded to the next one.
Well, last week I went back and took a second look. The sweet young woman on the right is Miss B. I didn't even recognize my own daughter. Her smile was what finally gave it away. I tell her all the time she has a million dollar smile and should use it more often.

4:21 AM and Counting

2010-02-03T15:25:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning at 4:21. I know because I looked at the clock every ten minutes until it was time for me to get up at 5:30. My alarm was set, but some how my beleaguered mind had the delusion that it wouldn't go off.

The human mind is a strange mechanism. I seldom forget to turn on the alarm; rarely do I sleep through the alarm; once in a great while, I might hit the off button instead of the snooze, but the alarm works whether I do or not. So why the insomnia when all systems were go. Yeah, I'm really tired.

Misinterpretation...

2010-02-01T14:14:00.000-05:00

Or a purposeful misunderstanding? Several of us terrorist in the office put our heads together the other day regarding the heightened security measures and here's what we came up with. Once a year we are forced to answer a questionnaire regarding how well upper management is meeting our needs. The questions are predetermined (of course) and seldom address the true issues and are extremely ambiguous.

One of the questions was, "Do you feel secure in your job?" A large number of people answered no. It was a simple yes or no question. The questionnaire did not ask why people felt insecure. Heaven forbid that it was due to the large number of layoffs taking place at the time.

Anyway, the results were interpreted to mean we felt insecure in our jobs because of all the subversive, postal-type perverts breaching security into the inner sanctums of paradise. So now we have all this elaborate security equipment that's more of a nuisance than anything. Well, there goes our raises for the second year in a row.

We're Being Held Captive

2010-01-28T09:30:00.000-05:00

The powers that be (Big Brother) around the office have significantly beefed up security in the past couple of months. I suppose every industry is subject to espionage, but it seems that this is a knee-jerk reaction to some body's wet dream. Or maybe...they're supporting their wife's, uncle's, nephew's new security company.

We've always been required to carry a badge to allow access to the garage and individual buildings on the campus. No biggie. And if you forgot it, you buzzed security and identified yourself then they would buzz you in.

A couple of months ago, access to the stairwells was changed. You can enter without a badge, but you cannot exit. That seems backwards to me. If they're concerned about spies going from one floor to the other via the stairs, why not keep these dastardly villains out all together? The poor schlock who forgets his badge is stuck there until someone comes along to release them from espionage purgatory.

Now, we have what looks like metal detectors at all the major entrances. That is, on the inside after you've already used your badge to breech the outer door. If you follow close on the heels of the person in front of you without waiting for the gate to close, bells, whistles and flashing lights announce your heinous transgression. What's next? Will your picture be posted around the office as an incorrigible?

I suppose this is acceptable in our high profile, politically charged, retail environment. But what I don't understand is that you can't leave the building unless you flash your badge over that glowing red cyclops sensor. What the f---? If you're already inside you obviously belong.

The real kicker is that they claim this escalation to a red alert was at the request of the employees. I must have missed the survey, because instead of spending all this moola in a depressed economy, I'd have said, "Put it in our paychecks."

Farewell

2010-01-07T13:46:00.000-05:00

We said goodbye to our sweet little Herald last Sunday. He'd been ill off and on for some time and no matter how hard we tried all the king's and horses and all the king's men couldn't put him back together again. He had such a big personality that it seemed like he graced our humble home forever, but when I look back at his adoption papers, it'd only been four years. Jimbob and I both miss him sorely.

Salt Lake City

2009-12-22T14:13:00.001-05:00

Jimbob and I were in Salt lake City weekend before last to see the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Spectacular. Of course, they no longer perform in in the Tabernacle, but at the Convention center. I couldn't take in my good camera, so some of these were taken with my phone. You weren't allowed to photograph the performance, but they had no problem with you taking pictures of the building.

Natalie Cole and David McCullough were the guest performers this year.

This first picture shows a small part of the center. Capacity is 21,000 and it was full for all four performances. That's 84,000 total.

This was the empty stage. At one time, there were about 700 performers present and accounted for.

On Saturday, Jimbob and I walked down the street to the Joseph Smith Memorial Building for lunch. At one time this was the Hotel Utah.

We walked through Temple Square back to our hotel after the performance and saw some of the historical markers.

And lights...Lots of lights.

FINISHED FOR THE YEAR

2009-12-18T11:42:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here, manning the phones at the Master Gardener's office for my final three hours of volunteer time for the year. Why did I wait so long? Well, I don't like answering the phones. If I sign up for the middle of winter, there isn't a ton of gardening going on, so no phone calls.

This is a requirement for re-certification, so it's a must. I'd much rather be at one of our information booths, or a continuing education class. Twenty minutes left and I'm out of here. Or just playing around in the dirt.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night.

My Phone Is Dead

2009-10-16T10:44:00.000-04:00

Well, that's not entirely true. The display on my phone apparently bit the dust. The other day it started making strange choking sounds and then the line went dead, came back and then went dead again. It did this off and on for the next twenty minutes or so. The phone fairy must have waved it's magic wand about then, because I had no further problems.

This morning, I can still receive and make calls, but there's no display on it. Okay, back in the dark ages, none of the phones had caller ID. Thing is, we didn't know any better. We picked up the receiver and said, "Hello" to whomever was on the other end. Now, well it just seems really strange to answer a blind call.

Big Brother is Alive and Well

2009-09-30T15:28:00.000-04:00

Every fall we go through the same agony of choosing which insurance coverage we will pay our life savings for. And every year it’s the same line of BS; and every year the BS gets deeper. Bring on the hip waders!

The Company line:
We have spent months negotiating the best price and coverage for you, our employees. You’re lucky to have us on your side. We are here for you and we will go to bat for you. In fact, we’ve already fought long and hard to insure the best possible benefits because we love you.

The lie:
What we’re not telling you is that your rates have doubled; you get less coverage and pay a higher deductible. Our wonderful insurance will pay only for the drugs and procedures that some minimum wage clerk with a high school education is determining from a numbers chart, so get over it. Don’t worry; be happy, we love you.

In the past:
The last couple of years we were privileged (coerced) into participating in a new program that was supposed to let us manage our health by filling out nosy questions online. This program was then supposed to help us correct our health problems. And for doing this, The Company contributed $250 a year toward preventative health care.

Reality-2010
This program is no longer voluntary. If we do not participate, we will be fined $50 a month. There is no $250 incentive for exposing the pitifully naked truth of our lives.

Other Fines
You will be fined if you are overweight. Overweight is to be determined by the insurance provider’s anorexic charts of total delusion. You will be fined if you have high blood pressure. You will be fined if your cholesterol is too high. You will be fined if you smoke. How they will determine if you smoke off company property is not being discussed. In addition, the insurance provider will provide a course of action for us to pursue to improve our numbers. Failure to follow their suggestions will result in another fine.

Conclusions:
Bend over and grab your ankles. Obamacare is here. Brownshirts will be issued to all school children of delusional age. Spy cameras will be used extensively to insure that we the people are kept in line. I believe this program will encourage people to lie.

Instead of treatment, old people will receive death counseling and be given sugar pills. Some will be urged to commit voluntary suicide. (Watch the old movie “Soylent Green.) Next, all infants born with serious (or imagined) physical and/or mental handicaps will be denied treatment.

Will our esteemed politicians be forced to use Obamacare? Will our company execs be forced to submit to the indignity of socialized health care? Hell no! And this is just the beginning.

Another Senior Moment?

2009-09-28T09:55:00.000-04:00

Okay, I admit I do stupid things sometimes. Or maybe I should chalk it up to another senior moment, but damn, this is getting scary. Friday when I got home, I noticed that the grass out back and one of my hydrangeas was in need of water.

Being the nurturing gardener I set the Rainbird sprinkler and went back in the house…and then forgot about it. A couple of hours later I realized that the water was still running so ran out and turned it off. As you can imagine, water was puddled everywhere.

After dinner Jimbob went into the bedroom and yells at me, “Can you come in here?” I dropped what I was doing and went to see what he wanted. Wouldn’t you know I’d also forgotten to close the bedroom window?

Of course the carpet was soaked and so were his fifty thousand teddy bears setting on the window seat. I grabbed every available towel and started mopping up. All the wet critters were flung into the bathtub while Jimbob stood watching and trying to figure out what happened.

Thank goodness I hadn’t gotten rid of the small carpet cleaner like I’d planned. It sucked that water up like a magnet. Then I ran a large floor fan aimed at the carpet until we went to bed. By Sunday afternoon we were pretty much dried out.

The teddy bears went outside on the stone retaining wall in the sun. This morning all but three of them are dry and back inside safe and sound until I do something else stupid.

Senior Moment

2009-09-21T13:20:00.000-04:00

I had something I was going to write about, but no sooner had I sat down at the computer than my mind went blank. I mean zip, zero, nada, zilch and on and on. Not even a glimmer of what I meant to write. So...I guess I'll just have to chalk it up to a senior moment. Maybe I'll remember later and then I'll have something to post for tomorrow.

Happy First Birthday

2009-09-14T13:05:00.000-04:00

My sweet little grandson will celebrate his first birthday this month. As you can see, he is such a happy little boy.

Thankless Tasks

2009-09-09T15:09:00.000-04:00

I've decided that taking out the trash and doing laundry are probably the most thankless tasks around the house. When you stop to think about it. you no more than empty all the wastebaskets, take the dumpsters to the curb, and then there's magically more. Same thing with laundry. You empty the laundry hamper and turn around and there's more dirty clothes.

Mouse in the House

2009-08-31T11:13:00.000-04:00

I sat down at my desk this morning and was getting everything geared up for the day when I espied, from the corner of my eye, a fuzzy brown streak comeemerge from beneath my desk. A mouse! A sure sign that autumn is on the way.

I tried to follow the little critter’s progress, but it was too fast. And then I spotted it running into the office across from mine. Like a good citizen, I informed the cellmate that a mouse was in his house. I moved the wastebasket and sure enough it darted out and ran under his desk.

If you can imagine, there are lots of nooks and crannies in an office this size, and every year we face the same predicament. I hate killing an innocent, baby mouse, but I don’t want it in my area. You have to know that where you see one, there are probably a dozen more. Get out of my house, mouse.

Arnold Schwandogger, the Spy

2009-08-26T15:33:00.000-04:00

I belong to a writer’s group at the office that meets once a week. When we don’t have enough material to review for the hour and a half, we often do writing exercises. Below is my last endeavor.

The scene (for all of us) was a small airport in Arkansas socked in by bad weather. It was amazing how many scenarios we came up with for such a simple setting.

Arnold Schwandogger, the Spy

Arnold Schwandogger lifted his myopic eyes from the newspaper he was reading at the scratchy sound of the cheap P.A. coming to life. “What now,” he sighed.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the tinny voice said. “Flight 2195 to LAX has been delayed until tomorrow. We have bad weather between here and Atlanta.

“Jesus H Christ!” Schwandogger threw his paper on the floor and struggled to his feet. He’d sat so long that his short leg refused to work with the built-up, platform shoe. He collapsed back into the low-slung, awkward chair.

“Mommy, look at that ugly man," a young girl stage whispered.

Schwandogger glared at the kid but said nothing. He rose again, his shoulders hunched and his head thrust forward like a turtle. He stumped toward the men’s room. “Nasty little brat," he said, passing the mother. “You need to get your kid under control.”

He pushed into the restroom and checked beneath the stalls for occupants. “Hello?” he called, but no one answered. “Thank, God,” he breathed and moved to block the door.

He then straightened to his full six feet four inches and peeled off the bushy eyebrows. He kicked off the uneven shoes and rinsed the gray from his hair. “That’s better,” he whispered.

Twenty minutes later, he stuck his head out the door and strode forward unnoticed and unrecognized.

I'm a Pacer

2009-08-25T09:59:00.000-04:00

This is my third week of doing water aerobics in the never ending war against flab. What a great way to have fun while you’re toning and resizing every part of your body. I actually look forward to going. Regular aerobics was way too hard on my joints and netted me minimal results.

In this process I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a pacer not a trotter. Especially when it comes to doing the “cross country skiing” maneuver. Against all admonitions by the instructor, I can’t get my left arm to go forward with my right foot or my right arm and left foot coordinated.

Just like a pacer, my right foot and arm work together and of course so do the left foot and left arm. It’s just a normal walking coordination, but I’ll be damned if I can get it right.

Does this say something about my personality? I'll have to get back to you on that.

Terrorist or Goth?

2009-08-19T08:52:00.000-04:00

I walked into the library last evening and saw a young man standing there talking to the person behind the counter about applying for a job. What’s so unusual about that? Well…the kid was dressed in a black and white getup that looked like it came straight from the prop room of a Dracula movie. I was a little suspicious about the long black cape with a standup collar, black vest and pants and a white wing tipped, long-sleeved shirt in 100 degree weather. There was red as well, but I can't remember where. He also wore heavy, almost white foundation with very dark eye makeup.

With all the reports of terrorist these days, I couldn’t help but wonder what he might have hidden beneath the cape. Maybe an assault rifle or even a bomb. You just can’t be too careful.

No I didn't jump him or call 911, but I made sure to examine the far reaches of the library while he was in the vicinity.

Government Study

2009-08-12T09:49:00.001-04:00

I know I haven’t written anything in a while, but I couldn’t let this go by without comment. I heard a blurb on the news this morning that made my blood boil Reportedly there has been a study in which 71% of Americans thought a woman should take her husband’s name when they got married. The real kicker was that these same people thought the GOVENRMENT should force a woman to assume her husband’s name upon marriage.

AND HOW MANY MILLIONS DID THIS STUDY COST US, THE TAXPAYER?

Here is my take on their ridiculous study.

1. What difference does it make what a woman calls herself? She’s still the same woman!
2. What gives these ignorant bigots the right to force such an imbecilic edict on others?
3. What makes these same idiots think they know what’s best for me?
4. Do we need another “blue” law on the books that can’t be enforced?
5. Put the money to better use. Throw out the illegal aliens who are such a drain on our country and provide a “real” health care plan.
6. Get a life! Or did somebody have to justify their overinflated salary for another study that wasn’t needed?
7. Get out of my life. Less government not more.

Natural Wonder

2009-04-23T15:36:00.000-04:00

Or maybe that should be a fool's folly. If you’ve read my blog before, you’ll know my abhorrence of a certain female undergarment commonly referred to as a “bra”. My specific beef is going shopping for this said article because they are not made for real women. Even the so-called full figured models are misleading.

Yesterday I wasn’t shopping, but wearing a model that I’d been foolish enough to purchase some months back. God, what was I thinking? My knit top (I always wear knit because button up shirts invariably gap) was rather clinging and accentuated the degree of folly (or delusion) I’d suffered.

I happened to look down upon my twin peaks only to discover that they were not pointing forward. If north and south represent up and down, then I was wall-eyed. East and west were in fact well represented. And that was peering down from a perspective that only I can attain. The ladies’ room mirror held further horrors. My profile resembled the slope of s ski jump with that upward tilt at the base for maximum trajectory.

I happen to know for a fact that God did not make women to achieve a maximum trajectory off my breasts. Who designed that stupid contraption in the first place? I think I’d rather opt for the 50’s version that rounds them up and heads them out at needle prick sharpness.

Needless to say, that bra went in the trash and will never discrace my person again.

Zoo Trip

2009-04-03T14:04:00.000-04:00

My friend, Linda, and I went to the Fort Worth Zoo last Wednesday. Just the two of us. No kids, grand kids or old people slowing us down. The weather was picture perfect (excuse the pun). and we had an absolutely wonderful time. Below are a few of my favorite pictures from the day.

When is enough, enough?

2009-03-16T15:19:00.000-04:00

One of our colleagues at work was diagnosed with cancer almost two years ago. The doctors treated him with experimental drugs and at one time he was declared cancer free. That lasted maybe 2 or 3 months and then the cancer returned worse than before.

We’ve watched RD’s health go up and down, but never really improving significantly. He’s currently on an oral chemotherapy that causes him extreme pain (as if the cancer wasn’t enough). Most of the time, he can’t walk because the drugs cause such horrible sores on his feet.

RD comes to work whenever he feels up to it, but we all know it’s just a way for him to get out of the house and be with friends. Most of the time, he’s just here.

This morning he called in to say that he was in the ER and wouldn’t be in. More complications from the chemo. His tumor became so large late last year that the doctors did surgery (again) to remove what they could and repair the hernia that it had caused.

I keep wondering to myself, how much more can RD stand? I’m sure if he was my husband I’d want the doctors to do everything possible to save his life, but when is enough, enough? Of course RD doesn’t want to die, but is his quality of life satisfactory enough to make the continued suffering justified?

It’s not a question I can answer. In fact I’m glad I don’t have to make such a horrific decision, but when I see a 50 year old man creeping down the hall, I can’t help but wonder.

It's Four O'Clock

2009-02-24T16:06:00.000-05:00

And I'm ready to go home for the day. I know our work load is supposed to be down, but I sure don't have a whole lot of leisure time happening right now. About the time I think I'm getting caught up, I don't.

I'm also editing a short story (on my time), trying to get it ready to submit it for a contest. Every time I think I'm done, I see something else that needs fixing. This could turn into a thankless task.

By the way, I had submitted my story "There's A T-Rex in My Closet" for publishing. While it didn't make it to ink and paper, it can be read at the following. If I remember correctly, I did post it, but if you haven't read it, go here. http://www.hobbesendpublishing.com/index.html Hey, at least it's recognition.

New Toy

2009-02-22T15:57:00.000-05:00

I can't remember whether I've mentioned that I bought myself a new toy for Christmas. It's a Sony DSLR-A350 with 14.2 mp and it takes wonderful pictures even if the operator is less than proficient. And I've been playing around with it a lot. The one thing it lacked was a telephoto lens so last week I ordered one that goes up to 300mm. I'm in hog heaven now. Of course I've been playing around with the new camera with the even newer lens, so I thought I'd post some of my results.

This is one of my favorites. I was trying to get Herald to turn toward me, but I think this shot is even better.

Author, Author

2009-02-20T15:18:00.000-05:00

I’ve been doing a lot of reading recently to make up for all the years I didn’t have time for when my kids were at home. Being an aspiring novelist has turned into a curse rather than a blessing. I read for writing skills as well as content and often get bogged down rewriting their story in my head.

One thing I’ve discovered is that even though writer may have be “an award winning journalist”, it doesn’t mean that they can write a good novel. It just means that they were a good journalist.

I just finished reading a book by one of these people and I swear he/she has never heard of POV or showing instead of telling. There was also way too much author intrusion. And this is an acclaimed writer.

I can only conclude that “established” authors are not subject to the same stringent guidelines that we novices get our feet held to the fire for. Of course, if you know someone or have made a name for yourself in another area, it doesn’t matter whether you can write or not. I’ve seen this firsthand recently and wonder who he/she had to blow to break into print.

Am I being a little sour grapes? Maybe. But then I remember that I want to get published for my writing merits, not because I have contacts in the right places. A little altruistic, too.

Cloud Array

2009-02-15T15:45:00.015-05:00

Jimbob and I went to see a movie yesterday (the first in 3-4 years) and on the way home, we saw these wonderful cloud formations. Since I always have my camera in my purse, we pulled off in the parking lot at the local park and I took pictures. Funny thing was, once I pulled over, several more motorist decided to do the same thing. But they were using their phones, so I know my pictures are better. So,

there.

Personal Quirks

2009-02-10T15:47:00.000-05:00

I’m one of those people who hates to fold clothes. I don’t mind gathering them up, sorting and then washing them, but it may take a week or so, before I decide to fold them and put them away. Jimbob often thinks that he has no clean underwear but it just hasn’t been folded. Of course he never remembers me telling him that the basket of clothes on top of the washing machine has clean clothes in it.

I feel the same way about buying groceries. Again it’s the putting away that I don’t like. In fact I’d rather pump gas than have to drag the groceries into the house and then find a place to store them. Jimbob must suffer the same aliment on this issue. When he goes to the market during the day, I come home that evening and find all the groceries stacked on the counter for me to put away. This includes meat, ice cream and fresh veggies.

Buying new clothes is much more fun than groceries. I have absolutely no problem unloading the bags and finding hangers for the new items. Although, I do have to admit that I bought a sweater a couple of months ago and hung it in the closet when I got home. Normally I like to wear my new stuff as soon as possible, but this sweater somehow became hidden behind other things. I discovered it in my closet the other day and didn’t even remember buying it. What a nice surprise. I just a regularfashion maven.

Chocolate Party

2009-02-09T18:04:00.000-05:00

Last Saturday evening, Jimbob and I went to a dinner party. The theme for the evening was chocolate. (Not that you could guess that from my title.) Anyway, when I say everything had chocolate in it, I mean everything. The chef was one of Jimbob's piano students who is also an anesthesiologist and very, very organized. He had a schedule for the evening with every minute exploited to the fullest extent.

The evening started with a chocolate cocktail that had 4 kinds of liquor, vanilla and chocolate in it. I took one sip and my eyes watered at the 400 proof concoction. I think we could have flown a rocket to the moon and back with that puppy. After three sips, my toes curled and I had steam coming out of my ears. It's a wonder any of us walked away with eyebrows. Talk about dragon breath.

After cocktails, we moved to the dining table (it seated 12 and was all one piece). The appetizers consisted of chocolate risotto and cheese balls with chocolate nibs. I liked the cheese a lot. This was followed by chocolate hazelnut soup. Very different and extremely rich.

We were then given about ten minutes to visit while our host finished the salad of greens, dried cherries and chocolate nibs. I think this was my favorite of the night. The main course was barbecued ribs with chocolate sauce (one platter with jalapenos and one without). In addition he'd prepared chicken with chocolate mole sauce. The side dish consisted of grilled eggplant and onions with chocolate nibs.

Are you getting the gist that this was a chocolate overload. We weren't done yet. Dessert was chocolate layered cake with hazelnut cream served with a wedge of blood orange and port.

What with the copious amounts of red wine, additional chocolate cocktails and the port, no one was feeling any pain. I didn't drink the wine because red wine does nasty things to my head. Besides I was the designated driver.

Yesterday morning (Sunday) Jimbob was wishing he hadn't imbibed along with the others. Sunday is his big day at church and he was singing a solo. The solo almost didn't happen. All that rich food and alcohol was threatening to come back up.

I gave him something to settle his stomach, but I couldn't help snickering a little.

The Week In Review

2009-01-09T16:07:00.000-05:00

Okay, this is Texas. A couple of mornings ago, we had ice on the roads and temperatures in the mid to high 20’s. Today, we’re back up to 70 and who the hell knows what tomorrow will bring. Rain, sleet or snow?

Wednesday evening I went out to my car after choir practice, got in and started to drive away. The little tire pressure light came on before I got out of the church parking lot. It was already after 9:00, but I managed to snag our all time favorite handyman and friend, Douglas, to check the tires.

The right front was low, so Doug put his handy-dandy portable compressor on it to bring it up to the correct pressure. When he removed the tube, you could here a steady pssssssssss from the tire. Obviously not what I wanted to hear. We rolled the car forward until Doug found the culprit; a very large screw. Thirty minutes later I rolled home on the spare.

The rest of the week has been quiet. The stupid cow has been out of the office for two days, so even that aggravation is gone. Although, we were told that the estimators will be moving to new offices (cubicles) next Wednesday. I went to check out my new location only to discover that the previous occupant had left a gazillion files and drawings behind. He’s no longer with the company.

I waited several days to see if anyone was going to claim the piles of crap and when no one did, I volunteered to get rid of it if they would give me a very large dumpster. That was yesterday. Today, my new cell is empty and maintenance is supposed to come clean the carpet and wipe down all surfaces. I guess my idea of dumping everything got someone’s attention.

Winter Wonderland

2009-01-05T18:09:00.000-05:00

The temperature here today has hovered between 32 and 33 degrees. I know that's nothing compared to you guys up north, but add to this a heavy, misting rain. Ice is already forming on some surfaces, but you can bet by tomorrow morning, it'll be many surfaces. And where there's ice on the roads, there's chaos.

Again, some of you are accustomed to driving on ice and think nothing of it. In north Texas, it's definitely not an everyday occurrence. Us Texans are warm weather fowl. We also have a lot of transplants from colder climates who are famous for saying, "I trust my driving, it's the other guy I worry about."

I can about guarantee that our roads will not be deiced by the time I leave home at 6:30 AM and a whole lot of slippin and sliding will be going on.

New Year's Tradition

2008-12-31T15:20:00.000-05:00

Jimbob and I have a New Year's Tradition. For the past six years (our anniversary was last Sunday) he goes to the market and buys two (not just 0ne) can of blackeyed peas because it's supposed to bring good luck to eat them on New Years Day.

And every year I tell him that I'll fix them for him because I don't like blackeyed peas. Just as pridictable, he's absolutely shocked at my response.

Happy New Year

2008-12-30T16:37:00.000-05:00

Here I sit on December 30th having just come in from working in the yard. Even though we've had some temperatures in the high teens, to day isn't one of them, I ran errands this morning and by the time I got home it was 70 degrees and I just couldn't sit inside on my butt.

We had a very quiet Christmas since JC had illness in his family and didn't make it over until the Saturday after. Since I already had all the food and the meat was defrosted, I went ahead and fixed dinner for us and Jimbob's sister. Then we had another Christmas dinner when the kids came over.

I hope that everyone has a great and safe New Year's Eve. Maybe this year we can stay awake until midnight...maybe not.

Time Is Passing Me By

2008-12-08T14:58:00.000-05:00

When I was a kid, people told me that the years would go by faster as I got older. Of course, as a kid, I didn’t believe them. After all, a year was forever. Now that I’m “older”, the days, weeks, months and yes years, seem to be chugging right on by.

It’s hard to believe that Christmas is nearly here. It seems like we just celebrated Easter. I have no idea what happened to St. Patrick’s Day, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, or even Thanksgiving.

Does this mean that I’m getting old? I know some people who say I’m older than dirt, but I don’t feel that old; at least most of the time I don’t. First thing in the morning when I have to drag my butt out of bed at 5:30 I’m not so sure.

I’m looking forward to Christmas only because my #1 brat and his family will be there. It would be so much better if #2 brat and her sweet little girl were going to be home too, but I’ll be happy for what I have.

Another sign that I’m aging is that I don’t really care if I get gifts for Christmas. My dear Jimbob always buys me jewelry because he can’t think of anything else. I’ve tried to gently hint to him to save his money this year. I’d be happy with a fuzzy steering wheel cover for my new car. I hate the feel of the cold plastic on my hands.

And next thing you know it will be New Year’s day and the Super Bowl and it’ll start all over again.

Thanksgiving

2008-12-04T15:01:00.000-05:00

You can't tell me that this isn't a sweet face. I was lucky enough to have Miss Tara and her momma here for four whole days. I hated to let her go home on Friday. The house seems so quiet without them.

Off to Work Tomorrow

2008-12-01T16:20:00.000-05:00

I could really get into this retirement thing. Unfortunately, I have to give up the delusion and return to the trenches in the morning. I've been off since last Tuesday and I don't miss hearing that damn alarm clock go off at 5:30. At least I've had my laptop at home so I don't have to go back to 500 emails.

I just wanted to post a picture that I took on one of my walks. This was about 6:45 AM. I thought it turned out really nice.

CAN YOU SEE IT?

2008-11-24T09:18:00.000-05:00

When I saw this skeletal hand and arm creeping out of the ground during my walk on Saturday morning, I just had to get a picture. I showed it to Jimbob and he couldn't see it. Am I the only one? Of course it's just a contorted root, but I thought it was interesting.

Turkey Fry

2008-11-21T13:09:00.001-05:00

Today was our 9th annual turkey fry celebration in the office. We pretty much demolished 7 turkeys fried in a variety of spice mixes and all the fixings that go with them.

This was the carving committee. It takes a lot of people to carve seven turkeys.

And here we have the taste test committee. I'd already passed judgement as delicious, but obviously, more than one taster was needed.

In the end...this is what was left after I took several carcasses home to make soup.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONE!!!

Cold Front

2008-11-17T14:30:00.001-05:00

Last Friday, I left work and made a few stops on the way home when I noticed this very unusual cloud formation. Since I carry my camera in my purse, I took the time to snap a few shots when I got out of the car. Apparently a lot of people were curious, because on the news that night, viewers had sent in their photos asking about them. I just thought they were really cool.

Black Wednesday

2008-11-12T14:15:00.001-05:00

Well, I made it through today without any scars. There were a whole bunch of people who were either offered a retirement package or just let go. We have another meeting in about 45 minutes to recap the damages.

Of course there’s no promise that this is the end of it. It all depends on the economy for the next few months. Christmas is always a big season for us, so if that goes bad we’ll probably suffer more fatalities after the first of the year.

TO BE OR NOT TO BE

2008-11-10T15:05:00.000-05:00

I’ve said every day for the past week that I’m going to take time to do a post…and of course I haven’t. Things have been really strange recently. A lot of people in other areas have already been laid off with the promise that there will be more.

With almost 35 years with the company, where does that leave me? Damned if I know. There’ve been a few rumors circulating that some older associates have been offered early retirement. I certainly qualify, but haven’t heard boo from anyone. So I suppose that means they’re going to keep me…or lay me off.

Call it denial or conceit if you want, but of the five people doing this job, I have the most experience. Next in line would be the stupid cow with 4 years experience, a nasty mouth and a worse attitude. She’s been a thorn in management’s side for years and if they’re smart, this would be the perfect opportunity to can her butt without “proof” of insubordination.

Do I wish being jobless on anyone? No, but if it’s me or them, you know who I’m looking out for. We’ve been told to make ourselves available this week for an announcement. That’s very definitive, don’t you know? Everyone is wandering around asking if you know anything. This is not a productive atmosphere.

Update

2008-10-13T17:38:00.000-04:00

Jimbob's surgery went well last week. The doctor feels that he got all of the tumor. That's such a relief for both of us.

I know he wants to jump back into everyday life, but I keep telling him that he's still recovering. He does sleep a lot and that's perfectly normal. After all he's gone through major surgery. He's still getting accustomed to wearing a black patch over his eye. He tells all his young students that it's not something to be afraid of.

One young boy, M, (about six) sent him a "Thinking of you card" with a picture that he'd drawn inside. It was two stick figures, one obviously larger than the other. M had drawn an arrow to the larger person with a note that said, "fake eye" and "you". The other one he had labeled, "me." It was cute in his innocence and lack of guile.

Jimbob will go back to the doctor a week from tomorrow to be fitted for the artificial eye. It seems really soon but what do I know.

Fall and More

2008-10-05T17:47:00.000-04:00

This is my favorite time of the year. I love the way the mornings are cool and the days still warm. My friend and I are going to the Texas state Fair this Thursday and it promises to be a beautiful day.

There were a few years when I went that it was still way too hot and none of the drinking fountains in the park work. Instead you have to buy bottles of water from the food vendors and they are very expensive.

That's never stopped me from going though. A cold beer is always good to cool you off. I love the animal exhibits and arts and crafts. There's also a raptor show that I think is really interesting. And then there's the auto pavilions. Last year I sat in a Hummer just for the hell of it. First, last and only time. They usually have some really expensive cars on display. Like an Austin Healy for $175,000. Maybe I'll order a dozen for Christmas presents.

You can buy just about anything deep fried at the fair. So if you're on a diet, kiss it good bye for the day. Of course you also do a lot of walking, so the fat calories don't count. Now that sounds like a plan to me.

Tomorrow, Jimbob has his surgery. I know it's traumatic, but as the doctor told him, you get on with life. And it beats the alternative.

Below is a picture of me and my new grandson; Reed Anson Moore. He arrived last Monday and weighed in at 7 lbs 13.6 oz. Of course, I think he's beautiful.

I went for a walk early yesterday morning and found this character stalking along the edge of a local pond. For once I was able to get close without scaring him/her off. He looks downright prehistoric.

Wish us luck tomorrow and hope that all goes well with the surgery.

2008-10-02T09:49:00.001-04:00

Mystery Solved

2008-10-02T08:54:00.000-04:00

We had a bit of a mystery when we were in Philly last week. Monday morning Jimbob got up, showered and shaved and we walked to the doctor’s office.

Tuesday morning, he got up showered and couldn't find his electric razor. I looked everywhere including under the bed, but couldn't find it. The strange part was we had 2 laptops sitting there and they weren’t touched.

Wednesday, before leaving for the airport, Jimbob went down to the desk to report that his razor was missing. They were very apologetic and told him to go ahead and buy a new one when we got home and they would reimburse him.

That evening when we arrived home, Jimbob went inside while I was unloading the car. By the time I got all the bags in the house, he met me at the door with his electric razor in hand. I asked him where he found it and he said, “In the bathroom. I only thought I packed it.”

And I only thought he'd done a lousy job of shaving on Monday. Come to find out he hadn't shaved at all.

Balloons

2008-10-01T10:37:00.000-04:00

One day last week, I took an early morning walk and saw these

balloons hovering over one of the nearby neighborhoods.

The people in the balloons were laughing, waving and calling to

those on the ground.

I figured someone got a balloon ride for a birthday or anniversary gift.

They were having a whole lot of fun.

They were drifting in the same direction I was walking,

and when I reached the park, they were nearly on the ground.

Then all of a sudden, this guy added more hot air

and shot up into the sky again.

We're Home

2008-09-28T17:28:00.000-04:00

Well, our news in Philly wasn't very good. Jimbob had assumed that they would apply the radiation plaque to the back of his eye again and everything would be back to normal. As much as he's wanted to deny it, the doctor told him the first time that he would eventually lose sight because the tumor was so close to the optic nerve. But that wasn't the way things went.

The tumor has nearly doubled since it was first discovered. At least he had another year and a half reprieve after his first treatment. The doctor in Philly recommended that his eye be removed to avoid 1. The possible return of the tumor...again. 2. Spread of the cancer to his brain if the radiation didn't kill all the cells.

My feeling is that there really isn't any choice here. I know it bothers Jimbob to think he'll go through the remainder of his life with an artificial eye, but compared to brain cancer... After discussing our next course of treatment, we decided to have the surgery done in Dallas versus Philly. It would only be day surgery (can you imagine?) and then the next day we'd be on the plane home.

That was Monday, so Tuesday we went sight seeing before coming home on Wednesday. The more I thought about it, it would have been really difficult for him to spend 4 hours on a plane the day after having his eye removed. Not to mention the hassle of me trying to deal with 4 bags by myself.

Tomorrow we see the surgeon who will remove his eyes. The same doctor will also fit him with the artificial eye. Supposedly he's an artist with what he does. Prayers are in order if anyone cares to take the time.

We saw the Liberty Bell

This is the church where John Adams attended.

And this is George Washinton's church.

Philadelphia

2008-09-22T16:38:00.000-04:00

Jimbob and I are in Philly this week. The tumor behind his eye has returned and his doctor in Dallas thought it would be a good idea for him to come see the "World's" authority on this type of cancer.

His brother and sister-in-law were nice enough to give us round trip tickets. We're in a hotel in downtown Philly. Living in the city is really different than anything I've ever known.

We had a good flight weather wise. First from Dallas to San Antonio, then on to Philly. I've known for years that the airline seats are not made for even the average sized human and yesterday confirmed my theory.

Jimbob was on my right and he's like a four year old with ADD and a bad case of the hives. When we got to San Antonino, I acquired a guy on my left who was more than average, to say the least. By the time we got to Philly, I felt like I was black and blue from Jimbob bouncing around and me leaning away from our seat partner to avoid an elbow in the nose.

But we're here and safe and that's the most important thing.

California, Here She Comes

2008-09-07T13:26:00.000-04:00

Miss Britt called me last night to say that she got her new car and it was wonderful. It was actually dropped at her apartment while she was at work, so she had to wait all day to go see it. I had loaded it with some of her things she'd left behind, a few new kitchen things, a couple of pictures she'd always liked, my old computer and the baby's birthday presents. Jimbob included a giant teddy bear at the last minute, so we strapped it into the passenger seat.

When she called, that's as close to giggly as I've ever heard her. Even as a kid she wasn't into giggling like a lot of little girls. But, it's there and I'm so glad she has something safe to drive.

I took this picture last Friday morning as it was loaded onto the truck. From here, it was consolidated on to an 18 wheeler to California.

Please Don't Eat the Toadstools

2008-08-30T08:46:00.000-04:00

This a toadstool tour of my early morning walks. Some are actually pretty...and some are downright ugly. And no, I don't know the names of these things.

Yes, it is alive.

What to Do?

2008-08-21T08:37:00.000-04:00

Early Sunday evening, my beautiful daughter (of course I think she’s beautiful), Britt, called me. I could tell she was upset, but she didn’t come right out and say it.

After a couple of minutes of chit chat, I asked what was wrong. I could hear the tears in her voice when she said she was walking out to the highway to meet a friend. Her 20 year old POS car has been giving her problems for quite some time, and it kept dying on her on the way home. She left it at the shop and she was walking to a place to get picked up.

What to do? It’s so frustrating when she’s so far away and I can’t jump in the car to go get her. I thought of sending her money to get the POS fixed, but where do you draw the line on a car that old? Jimbob and I discussed sending her money to get another car. That would leave her with a car payment or another POS that might hold up for a couple of years.

Neither of these solutions is satisfactory as far as I’m concerned. It’s bad enough that she was stranded, but thank God she didn’t have her baby with her. And of course her estranged husband isn’t about to help out.

What to do? The more I thought about it, it seemed right that I should send her my 5 year old Jeep Liberty and get something new for myself. No, this is not an excuse to buy a new car for me. I’m perfectly happy with what I have and it’s paid for.

What to do? First I have to admit that I’ve driven Chrysler products all my life and yes, I am very prejudice against other makes. We drove up to Bonham, TX Monday to pickup a Dodge Nitro to test drive. I didn’t like it. Tuesday, I dropped the Nitro at the local Jeep dealer and picked up a new Liberty. I don’t like it as much as my old car. I didn’t realize how emotionally attached I am to my little white car until I started looking for something new.

What to do? I’ve already told Britt I’m going to ship my car to her as soon as I find a new one. My heart says that’s the right solution to help her. I have nightmares of her hitch hiking with a baby in her arms.

What to do? After two days of driving the new Liberty, I’m getting used to it. I keep telling myself there’s a reason I paid off the old car early. Now I’m in a position to help two people I love very much.

What to do? Yesterday, Jimbob took the Nitro back to the dealer in Bonham and picked up my car. I had him leave it at the Jeep dealer to have them service it before I ship it to Britt. Tonight I’m going to look at other models that the dealer has available and make a decision. The new car will grow on me and Britt will be safe.

Bye, bye little white car.

War on flab

2008-08-15T14:13:00.000-04:00

In the war on flab, I’ve been doing some walking around the neighborhood. After awhile, it has grown rather mundane, so I’ve decided to take my camera with me. One of my ideas was to take pictures of anything that catches my eyes. It couldn’t be easier with a digital camera. Best of all, there’s no waste and no expense for developing lousy pictures. Here are a few for your perusal.

Good Morning!

2008-07-31T08:53:00.000-04:00

Sometimes little things go unnoticed in our busy lives. But I couldn't possibly ignore this sunrise yesterday morning...unless I was dead.

This picture and the next were taken from the backyard before I left home.

For the next ones, I pulled off into the parking lot at a local park.

It was well worth the effort even though I was a few minutes late for work. I'd do it again in a heart beat.

Bodies in the Compost Heap

2008-07-29T14:09:00.000-04:00

Don’t tell anybody; it’s a secret. I’m burying bodies in my compost heap. So far there are three, and I check everyday for fresh corpses.

My biggest concern is that Herald (the cat) will find one of them and use it for a chew toy. Seeing as how the victims were poisoned, I don’t want him eating one and getting sick…or worse.

No, I don’t have a covert career as a hit-woman. If you read my post from a couple of days ago, you'll know I’m talking about rats. What utter satisfaction to go home and know that the nasty vermin are succumbing one at a time to the lure of the sweet bait in the trap, never to return again! If there were babies, they should starve to death before long. YAHOO!

HUMANS-3 RATS-0

Strange Encounters Three of a Kind

2008-07-28T14:41:00.000-04:00

I know I’ve used that title before, but last weekend was one of those filed under “ODD”. It all started on Friday when I stopped at the local mall to go into JCP for new make-up and I decided to run into the mall proper to an intimate apparel shop. I haven’t been really in the mall in about 5 years.

Encounter #1 For once the lingerie shop wasn’t the strange part. But then, I was on my way back to JCP when a young man approached me and handed me a card. Before I knew what was happening, he drug me back to his kiosk and started cleaning one side of my face. I suppose I could have gotten outraged, but I wasn’t in a hurry and I was in need of make-up, so I went along with the half make-over.

When he started telling me I looked like I was in my forties, I laughed and decided I didn’t want whatever he was selling, whether it be BS or foundation. It took me a bit to convince him, so I lied and told him I hadn’t come to the mall for make-up. Then I went to JCP and got what I needed from someone I trusted.

Encounter #2 Saturday, a friend and I decided to go to a spice shop in Dallas. She went with me first for a haircut but we were way early, so we stopped at a local nursery that specializes in orchids. We were there at least 20 minutes and in that entire time, not one person acknowledged our presence. I think we could have taken whatever we wanted and gone out the side door and no one would have known.

Encounter #3 Next stop was Penzey’s Spices but we were getting hungry, so we went into a Greek Café for lunch. It looked like a nice place. It was clean and well lit. The hostess seated us, asked what we wanted to drink and then disappeared.

I finally got up and got two menus. We waited and then waited some more, and no one came to take our order. We saw the hostess again ten minutes later with our drinks and managed to place our orders. We both had the distinct feeling we were invading the place.

When we left, there was no register up front and our hostess/wait person had done her magic disappearing act again. There was a counter near the door so we went up there and after waiting another 5 minutes, some guy walked over and took our cards into the back room. Had we stumbled into a rendezvous place for the Greek mafia?

Call me silly, but I checked my bank account this morning to make sure there were no bizarre charges against my card.

They'er Back!

2008-07-24T15:13:00.000-04:00

A couple of years ago, we had a problem with rats invading the backyard and attic. The exterminator said we didn’t have rats, but he was magnanimous enough to set a few traps around. Between the garage and the attic, we killed 19 adults and babies. But we didn’t have rats.

Now…THEY’RE BACK. I was watching the bird feeder the other day when I realized that what I was seeing was not a new, four-legged species of bird. It was a very brazen *&*%$# rat come to help himself to the bird seed.

I scared that one away but an hour later there was another, smaller critter doing the same thing. It makes me cringe to think about them getting into the attic again. I had to empty all the traps last time because the exterminator never came back

Jimbob called our new exterminator the next day and he came out and left a baited trap. I didn’t see any more of the vermin openly raiding the birdfeeder but there was evidence. Their nasty droppings in the seed they’d thrown out of the feeder and didn’t eat.

Then on Monday I was talking to JC (number one brat) and looked out the back window just in time to see a very large rat scurry from one side of the patio to the other. I wanted to run out the door, screaming and flailing my arms and throw something at it. When I came to my senses and figured the only thing I had to throw was the cell phone, I reconsidered. I’d probably miss anyway, and the rat would just laugh.

I did remove the bird feeder, but I felt bad when the birds came looking for food. (I feed the neighborhood stray cats, too.) Yesterday evening when I got home, I went out to the backyard and happened to look over at the compost pile and there lay one very dead, very large rat.

Humans (1) Dead rat (0)!

Conspiracy

2008-07-22T17:40:00.001-04:00

Do I dare say the word conspiracy? John at Romantic Ramblings says that if you talk about it, it's sure to happen. Well this time, the big "C" struck without warning.

We got up Sunday morning and I put a cup of coffee in the microwave to warm it up. I noticed that it was a little louder than normal, but didn't think too much about it. The interior light was on, the clock was working, the timer worked and the turntable went round and round. Do you notice one missing element here? No heat.

And then...and then...there's the computer. Right in the middle of what I'm doing the cursor freezes up. The only way to get it to work is to do a hard re-boot which I understand isn't the best thing for the computer. In addition, we get this weird error message that the display has quit working properly and to save whatever is on the screen. Problem is, the minute you touch anything, the screen goes black. Another hard re-boot.

I'm afraid to think what might be next. I replaced the microwave yesterday. Sam's always has a bargain on that type of stuff. Today, I ordered a new computer from Dell. Yes, I know, I could have repaired the one I have. But it's already 6 or 7 years old and in the computer world that's not old, it's decrepit.

Now that I think about it, maybe there's already a third incident in the conspiracy saga. Remember the saying is that bad things come in threes. My sister called Sunday evening to say her mother-in-law had passed away that morning. When I talked to her on the way home to day, she told me that her father-in-law's sister-in-law (you got that?) died yesterday. When they called the undertaker for her mother-in-law he never returned the call. Come to find out, the undertaker had died in between the two ladies.

Bad Hair Day

2008-06-23T12:54:00.001-04:00

And you think you're having a bad hair day? I went out the back door Saturday morning and found this guy right at eye level. I went back inside to get my camera and when I came back, he was still there. It was relatively cool (for Texas in the summer) and he seemed to be pretty sluggish. I think he stayed with us for a couple of hours. He's a pretty good size critter.

There's a T-Rex in My Closet

2008-06-18T21:27:00.000-04:00

Don't ask how I come up with this stuff...because I don't know.

I knew it was going to be one of those days when I opened the closet door, looking for something to wear to work and there stood a miniature t-rex with one of my shirts in each hand, and ruby stilettos on her feet. The row of rhinestone studs running down her chartreuse spine did nothing to allay my rising nausea.

She glanced from one fuchsia tipped hand to the other at the knit shirts grasped with delicate care. “I just can’t decide which one. No, these will never do.” She dropped them onto the pile growing at her feet and took two more from the hangers.

“What the…?” I gargled out. I rubbed my eyes with too much vigor, but the apparition didn’t go away.

The t-rex turned to face me. “Oh, there you are, honey. I didn’t hear you come in. Don’t you have anything with more pizzazz?” She held the blouses toward me. “These are boring, boring, boring.

“But…you’re a t-rex.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say.

She smiled showing huge incisors and batted her long lashes at me. “Give this girl a prize,” she said. Then she asked, “Rough morning?”

I nodded. Or at least I think I did. I know a trickle of spit oozed down my chin.

“Aw, poor baby,” T-rex said. Then she reached into a pocket and withdrew a fine linen handkerchief edged with delicate pink lace. “Here’s a hanky, wipe your chin, doll face.”

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Looking for something to wear to work. What are you doing here?” Two more shirts and a corduroy skirt floated to the floor.

“But t-rexs don’t wear clothes. Besides that, they don’t work.” I was starting to babble. “They can’t talk either.”

“A lot you know, dumpling.” She pawed through the clothes hanging on the opposite side of the closet. “I’m an m-rex. T-rexs are too mundane. And dull, dull, dull.

“Oh, look!” she squealed and pulled out a dyed feather boa that I’d bought for Halloween last year. “And it’s my favorite color, vermillion! Now, this is more like it.”

“I…I…I…” My mind was about to short circuit. “There’s no such thing as an m-rex.

“That’s short for margarita-rex. You can just call me Emmy for short.”

I slammed the mirrored sliding door shut with a bang, flipped off the light and prepared to run.

“Yoo hoo,” Emmy yodeled. “Where are you going, buttercup? You haven’t even looked for something to wear. You’ll be late to work.”

She slid the door aside and stuck her snout through the crack. “My, dear girl, you look rather green around the gills.”

“I think I’m going to be ill. I bolted to the bathroom and reached the toilet just in time. Hunkered on my knees on the cold tile, I gripped the even colder porcelain throne. My stomach erupted through my nose bringing up my toenails for the ride, tied itself in knots and then snapped back into place.

“Gag, gag,” a voice floated from the bedroom followed by a raucous laugh.

“Go away, Emmy,” I yelled.

“Are you sure, lovey? I always hate being alone when I’m sick.”

“Just go away!”

“Well, if that’s the way you feel about it, sweetums.”

Then I heard a gurgling pop, pop and all was quiet.

I think I dozed with my cheek resting on the rim of the toilet. When I woke up I was sweating and shivering all at the same time. “Emmy?” I whispered.

No answer, so I pulled myself up by the boot straps and tiptoed into the empty bedroom. I wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head…but I just had to know.

I stood in front of the closed door for at least five minutes, mustering my courage to look inside. I couldn’t hear a thing and almost convinced myself not to look. But then I heard that annoying, singsong voice. “Wasted away again in Margaritaville, Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.”

“Emmy!” I screamed, and swept aside the door. The closet was empty. No chartreuse, miniature t-rex wearing ruby stilettos and rhinestone studs down her back. But there was a rumpled pile of discarded clothing tossed aside by the enigmatic m-rex, Emmy.

Hot Flash on the Hoof

2008-06-17T13:08:00.000-04:00

Yee haw! It's a hot flash! This has been one of those days when I seem to be one giant hot flash. I haven't been bothered as much lately (except at night and those are called night sweats) by these power surges, but today has been miserable. I'm sitting here in a sleeveless t shirt fanning myself.

Normally in the office I'm shivering. Especially in the summer when the air conditioning is cranked to the max. I have a small fleece blanket I wrap up in when it gets too cold and people walk by and say, "Are you cold?" Now tell me that isn't a stupid question.

Maybe I'm getting sick and it's actually a fever. But I can't remember the last time I ran a fever. Maybe it's a premonition of good things to come. I could use a few good things in my life. Or...maybe it's just another atomic power surge.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

2008-06-15T17:49:00.000-04:00

"The idea for creating a day for children to honor their fathers began in Spokane, Washington. A woman by the name of Sonora Smart Dodd thought of the idea for Father's Day while listening to a Mother's Day sermon in 1909."

"In 1972, President Richard Nixon established a permanent national observance of Father's Day to be held on the third Sunday of June"

I for one didn't realize that Father's day was made official so recently. But regardless, here's to all the wonderful dads out there who make our lives what they are.

This is my father and me. We won't discuss the year.

My parent's wedding picture. I guess I should have put it first.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU!

Father's Day Dilemma

2008-06-14T17:13:00.000-04:00

What do you buy for a man for Father’s day when he invariably says he wants a Porsche and he’s only half joking? I struggle at every gift giving occasion because I don’t know what to buy Jimbob.

Electronic gadgets, which so many men love, hold no interest for him. A year ago last Christmas I bought him a new cell phone with Bluetooth and voice dialing. Yes he uses the phone (all the time). But the headset lies beneath a thick layer of dust where he originally set it. JC and I both tried to show him how to use voice dialing but that proved too difficult.

He mentioned the other day that he was going to need one of those GPS systems for his car as he gets more and more music students. He has this habit of thinking he knows where he’s going, but gets to where he thought his destination should be and …no, that’s not where he’s supposed to be.

So…my dilemma is whether to go spend a couple of hundred dollars and have the GPS system take up residence next to his Bluetooth, or just buy him another shirt? Come to think of it, he has numerous shirts setting in the closet gathering dust, too.

Finally!

2008-06-12T20:04:00.000-04:00

I finally got a clean bill of health from the urologist one year after my fall. My left kidney is completely healed and I can resume normal activity. It's about time, too.

So I took a good look in the mirror the other day and it was pretty scary. Gravity waits for no man...or woman (that's me). And that insidious beast is winning. That's when I decided it was time to return to the fitness center on a regular schedule.

Until then, I'd been going on a hit-or-miss basis to peddle my buns on the exercise bike. I even fooled myself into thinking that this would fend off the dreaded sagging and bagging brought about by too many years as a desk jockey. WRONG! Pencil pushing and computer tapping don't qualify as exercise.

Last week I got on a machine that is kind of like a treadmill, except that your feet are on pads that ride on rails. I can't remember what it's called. This wondrous contraption of torture also has handle bars that alternate backward and forward to exercise your arms. I thought this might be helpful for my shoulder since it still causes me some pain.

After 30 seconds on this iron maiden, I thought I was going to have a heart attack right there in front of all those young, buff exercise fanatics. So I slowed from a crawl to a snail's pace, dropped my mouth open for more air, and gritted my teeth (hard to do at the same time). I managed to last another 90 seconds before running up the white flag of surrender.

I spent the next 15 minutes on the stationary bike at a remarkable speed of -20 knots. I had to get my heart rate down before I could go change clothes and go back to work. Besides I was afraid that I might pass out.

This past Tuesday I lasted a whopping 3 minutes. Admittedly, a tortoise could have run circles around me, but I did improve. Score one for the Old Gipper and all that hogwash.

Four minutes today on Tin Lizzy before I was forced to cool down on the bike. TA DA! A new record. Of course I had to crawl back to my cubicle. And my coworkers kept asking what all the moaning and groaning was about. Damned if I'd admit that I was melting into a greasy little puddle.

I've promised myself that I will go to the fitness center no less than twice a week, and might even make it to three. That remains to be seen though. Since I go on my lunch 45 minutes and it's right downstairs, I have no excuse. In addition, I will at least equal the time spent in purgatory during my previous session if not increase it.

Now for another short. I've given up on Miss B sending me pictures of my precious granddaughter, so I ordered a web cam. If you know what a computer inexpert I am, you'll know how proud I was when I installed it successfully. Only problem was, after I got it installed, I have no idea how to use it. I did take several pictures of myself, but that wasn't exactly what I had in mind. Now I have to wait for number one brat, JC, to come over and show me how to use it.

Oh Rats!

2008-06-10T18:35:00.000-04:00

A couple of winters ago, we had a rat infestation in our attic even though the exterminator didn't believe us. Seventeen dead critters later, (I had to empty the traps myself) I still don't think they believed we had rats.

Anyway, I was sitting in my chair yesterday evening and happened to look over toward the bird feeder. It's strategically placed so I can watch the birds eat without getting up. And low and behold, there's a big fat rat going after the seed. I chased it away and later I saw a smaller rat doing the same thing.

I asked Jimbob to call the exterminator today while I was at work but he forgot. I just don't want the nasty things in the garage and attic again.

We're Off To See

2008-06-03T18:38:00.000-04:00

We’re off to see the eye surgeon again tomorrow. Jimbob is having more problems with his sight and the optometrist thinks it might be due to a cataract.

Which I understand is not a big deal to take care of. This would certainly be the lesser of the evils that could be causing the problem.

Of course there’s always the possibility that Jimbob will never see as well as he did even 5 years ago. Age is not an easy opponent and he’s 75 years old.

So, wish us luck. We need all we can get.

Soup de Jour

2008-05-30T19:06:00.000-04:00

You’ve heard of Soup de jour? Well this morning I felt like the target de jour on the highway. I was sitting at a light when the dipshit in a pickup behind me bumps my butt. If I’d been watching in the rearview mirror I'd have freaked.

Thanks goodness it was just a bump (I barely felt it) and not enough to do any damage. If I’d still been driving the Miata, he’d probably slid up over the trunk into the passenger area.

I made it the remaining 5 or 6 miles without any problems, but I sure kept an eye on dipshit in the black truck who was still following me.

When I pulled into the parking garage, I had my foot on the brake anyway, and came to an abrupt stop. Some chick in a red sports car coming from my right didn’t or couldn’t read the stop sign. She just went sailing right on through; bare inches form my front bumper.

I was beginning to wonder whether I should even get on the road to go home. But I did get home safe. Thank you, God.

Apology

2008-05-29T18:45:00.001-04:00

I was asked the other day what the purpose of my blog was. I'd never given it any thought and couldn't come up with a good answer. Besides, why do you need a purpose?

The more I thought about it, it became clear. The purpose of my blog is to laugh at life. If this offends some people, I am sorry.

One Year Ago

2008-05-27T18:51:00.000-04:00

One year ago my ladder fell apart while I was standing very near the top working on a painting project. After I crawled out from under the rubble, includinig a large mirror, I drove myself to the hosiptal only to find out that I'd cracked two ribs, my left shoulder and badly bruised my left kidney.

This Memorial day I finally finished the project. Without incidence I must say. It was sure nice to know that I had a sturdy new ladder that wouldn't develop metal fatigue at a crucial moment. Of course, in the beginning, the old one (really old) belonged to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. I have no idea why I put up with that ancient piece of s--t for so many years.

I can't tell you how many people have come up to me at work to say that they went out and bought a new ladder after hearing about my ladder wreck. At least something good came out of the mess.