Red Alert!

Yesterday was our first ozone red alert. How many years did we live before knowing about ozone? I sure didn't notice any less traffic on the road. Did you? Who didn't stop for gas on their way to work because it was an ozone alert day? I'm not about to run out of gas out there on 121.

And I'm sure that warning not to mow your grass until evening stopped a whole bunch of Texans getting out in 100 degree weather. The only ones out mowing in the middle of the day are landscapers and they're not going to forgo getting paid because some bureaucrat says it's an ozone red alert day.

I've heard the explanation of what ozone is numerous times, but I've never met one personally. Perhaps ozone is a new alien invader that we should be shipping out to Area 51 north of Las Vegas. And the government can pickle all those little ozones, then deny they exist. That way, we can get on with our lives and not have to worry about ozones creeping into our houses at night and kidnapping us for weird sexual experiments.