We're Having a Heat Wave

Who said I was having hot flashes? Just because I spend the night covering up, throwing the covers off, covering up, throwing the covers off. I don't know what you mean. Now isn't that a great way to get lots of rest? I feel like a soiled, limp dish towel.

If you don't believe me, try getting ready in the morning when you step out of the shower and one of life's most unjust plagues swoops down on you with a vengeance. Suddenly, I'm sweating like I just ran the 50 yard dash and had mud kicked in my face.

I remember when I was a kid hearing about people who went up in raging flames from spontaneous combustion. Well, sometimes I feel like I'm going to burst into flames at any moment. Either that, or I might start breathing fire like a dragon. And people wonder why I get IRRITABLE. Who's irritable? I'm not IRRITABLE. Just a little flushed.

Okay, now you wanna talk about my ears looking like beacons in a storm? Yeah, my ears have hot flashes independently from the rest of my body. Sometimes it's only one and sometimes both. Not only do they turn bright red, but they're hot to the touch. Damn, that hurts.

Once I finally manage to get cooled off enough to get my clothes on, brush my teeth and comb my hair, I hit the road. Normally, it's about a 25 minute drive to the office. I can count on at least one heat wave. So I keep turning the air conditioner on/off, on/off, on/off...... No wonder I'm tired by the time I get to work, and my day hasn't really even gotten started.