FRIDAY FRIPPERY

It's Friday Frippery. I've been in a quandary trying to decide what the word for the day should be. I threw dildo, cacophony, bimbo and pithy into a hat and drew out pithy. That was too tame so I threw it out and tried again. And the winner is: bimbo.

I'm sure this conjures all sorts of lurid visions to mind, however here is the Miriam Webster Dictionary definition. BIMBO: 1. slang, usually disparaging: MAN: WOMAN: used especially of an attractive but empty-headed person. 2. slang TRAMP bimbos. "Evidence of how her hubby had been cheating with various bimbos."

Notice the inference is that bimbo is automatically a woman. I read somewhere (if I could only remember where) the word originally referred to a silly, empty-headed man. Just as Bambi was originally a MALE deer in Walt Disney's movie. But I dare you to name a male child Bambi these days.

OOPS, I almost forgot the WARNING: This is my forum to be my inane, irrelevant, irreverent, irregular, irresponsible, smart ass self. The opinions expressed in this blog are still not and probably never will be the opinions of management. The newness of that lovely phrase hasn't worn off yet.

So...What shall I discuss while I sit here pulling at my carnivorous underwear? Perhaps that's as good a place to start as any.

1. Men have it really easy. When they need new underwear, they go to the store (or send their significant other) pick up the first package with the correct size...and they're done. Women are not so fortunate. Panties aren't so bad once you decide what style you like, but bras are a living nightmare. Just because the tag says 34C, that's no guarantee that it will fit. The same bra by a different manufacturer may be a 36B. Apparently there is no uniform standard of bra sizes. Even when a bra is deemed comfortable while peering into the mirror, there is margin for error. 30 seconds in front of the mirror is no true test for a long day of 8, 9, 10, or 12 hours at the office.

In addition it is imperative to find just the right bra that is appealing to the man in your life as well as COMFORTABLE. All that decided, the next big decision is, "What color?" They now come in a vivid array of black, white, bright orange, Fuchsia, turquoise, flowered or even paisley. No wonder a woman is tired after going bra shopping. Then the problem of carnivorous underwear rears its ugly head. I get really cranky when my underwear starts pinching!

2. Be careful what you say to your children Not only can it come back to haunt you at the most inopportune times, but according to psychologist you might mark your kid for life. (I smell a lawsuit brewing.) I grew up with a phobia about my feet. I was convinced they were the WORLD'S LARGEST FEET. Just because Mom wore a 4 1/2 doesn't mean an 8 is a gunboat. In addition I was led to believe that anything over 110 pounds (I'm 5'7") screamed obese. Wait there's more. If you are obese you're automatically stupid. I take no claim for any of these pearls of wisdom.

3. When my children were finally old enough to move out, friends kept asking if I was suffering from empty nest syndrome. I refrained from saying "Hell no!, but only just barely. As much as I love my children, I'm not IN love with them. I knew from the start that they would grow up and get on with their lives. Sure I miss them, but I don't want to live with them again.

That will have to suffice for now. I'm not in the mood to be creative.

TTFN