FRIDAY FRIPPERY

Here I am again with Friday Frippery. The word for the day is deluge. Getting out my trusty, crusty old dictionary, the definition is: 1. To overrun with water. 2. To inundate in overwhelming numbers. 3. Anything that overwhelms as if by a great flood. If you haven’t guessed by now, I like to play with words. As in: The sudden deluge washed Joe's house into the Pacific Ocean.

WARNING: This is my forum to be my inane, irrelevant, irreverent, irregular, irresponsible, smart ass self. The opinions expressed in this column are still not necessarily those of management. Yeah, I still like saying that no matter how inane it may be. Although, I promise not to hit you with a deluge.

1. Oh goody, goody! We learned recently that our company has a new policy. No last names. Everyone is equal (oh sure). When I started here 30 plus years ago the rule was that non-management people called management by their last names. What it really boiled down to was the women called the men mister. Back then no one had heard of THE GLASS CEILING. It was just plain, old chauvinism. When you look at it in that light, I suppose we’ve made progress.

2. Ah such fond memories. Back in the good old days (GAG), I worked directly with a man who thought women should be barefoot and pregnant. One morning he announced to me that men were naturally smarter, meaning superior, than women because the fontanel on a female baby’s head grows over much sooner than in a male child. Thus, a man is naturally smarter than a woman because his brain has more room to grow. Don’t scowl at me I’m not the one who said it. What a caveman!

3. Hey, I saw a 1970 Ford Ranchero on my way to work Monday. I know some of you have no idea what I'm talking about, so here's a picture. Not the same color, but you get the idea. It was a car with the backseat and trunk cut out to make a pick-up bed. Pretty hot at the time. Some of the newer SUV's are along the same principal. They're not a car and not a pick-up, so what are they? UGLY!

4. I've changed my mind. (That's a woman's perogative.) The new word for the day is debauchery. Back to the Fred Flintstone dictionary: 1. Extreme indulgence in sensual pleasures; intemperance; dissipation. 2. Seduction from morality, allegiance , or duty. Now isn't that more exciting than plain old deluge?

5. Did I ever mention that I'm a dyed in the wool Pepsi freak? I don't drink coffee, so my morning caffeine is Pepsi. Don't try to palm a Coke, RC, Dr. Pepper or Mr. Pibb (do they still make Mr. Pibb?) on me. I CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE! Never try to take away my Pepsi, or I shall be forced to sink into the depths of depraved debauchery.

6. Is there a 6 today. I can't remember. Watch out for that snake!