Its Friday Frippery

My word of the day is irrelevant. That’s because nothing in today’s blog is relevant to absolutely anything. Okay, so let’s do the Miriam Webster on line dictionary irrelevant definition. It means: Pronunciation: -v&ntFunction: adjective: not relevant: INAPPLICABLE as in: Man, you’re the most irrelevant scumbag to grace my door in 20 years.

Here we go into the wild blue yonder. Oops, wrong commercial. WARNING: This is my forum to be my inane, irrelevant, irreverent, irregular, irresponsible, smart ass self. The opinions expressed in this column are still not and probably will never be those of management. Don’t you know Management’s views are irrelevant to creating this blog? Is blog with 1 g or 2? I can never figure it out.

1. I shot my muse today. That tall, sinewy, blond haired, buff (that’s a word I learned from my daughter) hunk with emerald eyes was lying down on the job. Actually, I think he was consorting with some other wanna be writer. So I shot him. If he won’t inspire me, than nobody else can be inspired on my time.

2. How am I doing for being irrelevant? Okay, let’s keep on truckin’. Oh, I’m just so full of irrelevant clichés tonight. Here’s another one. But you won’t recognize it unless you’re as old as dirt as my friend likes to remind loud and often. “You’ll wonder where the yellow went when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent”.

3. When you’re attempting to train a new person, why do they ask your opinion when they have absolutely no intention of following your directions? For that matter, how can someone on the job less than two months think they know how to make the job better? This girl doesn’t even know enough yet to know what she doesn’t know. She’s in love with spreadsheets. HA! When we get really busy, she won’t have time to go potty let alone play with her flipping spreadsheets.

4. Damn! Damn! I had the pleasure of moving my office yesterday. I just got used to the old one and now they go and move me. Wouldn’t you know, I lost some of my things in the epic journey from the old cubicle to the new one 20 ft down the hall? I feel like I’m back in kindergarten playing musical chairs. All I ask of management is not to move me next to my anal boss again. What a bitch that would be.

5. I have three stories out for writing contest, and even though I know the results won’t be announced for another month, I keep checking web sites everyday. How irrelevant is that?

6. I stopped at the SPCA on my way home today and guess what I found? A very large (20 lbs,) orange cat named Herold. He’s a real lap cat. Finally! Miss Tinkerbell has got her nose out of joint, but she’ll get over it.

It’s about time to bring this nonsense to an end. I'm very tired from another grueling week at the diamond mine.

My thoughts and prayers are with those in the path of Rita. TTFN

And no, the different colors or repeated referrals to the numer 20 tonight don’t mean a thing.