Friday, September 09, 2005

Friday Frippery

It’s Friday Frippery. My word of the day is avoirdupois. I bet you never heard that one before. According to Miriam Webster’s on line dictionary it means: Etymology: Middle English avoir de pois goods sold by weight, from Old French, literally, goods of weight. 1: AVOIRDUPOIS WEIGHT 2: WEIGHT, HEAVINESS; especially: personal weight. As in: Her avoirdupois weight is becoming unmanageable. At least I think that’s how it’s used.

Now, Business as usual. WARNING: This is my forum to be my inane, irrelevant, irreverent, irregular, irresponsible, smart ass self. The opinions expressed in this column are still not and probably will never be those of management. This is an avoirdupois phrase I just love to use.

1. My first avoirdupois topic is low rise jeans. No, I’m not forgetting the hip huggers we used to wear in the 60’s and 70’s, but they pale in comparison to today’s low rise pants that reveal way too much. It’s more than I want to see when some chick sits down and the pants are so short that her butt floss is revealed. Why buy underwear that isn’t going to produce panty lines it if rides up above your pants?

Even the skinniest, beanpole chick looks like she’s wearing her kid sister’s jeans that are or 3 sizes too small. Jimbob’s niece, Andrea came to Grandma’s 89th birthday party last May wearing low rise jeans. She’s as skinny as a rail, but I longed to go over and pull the damn things up where they belong.

My worst nightmare is men wearing LOW RISE JEANS. No, no, spare me the sight of an untended male crack. That strikes true terror in my heart.

2. Moving right along, have you any idea how difficult it is to find a free evening that is compatible with half a dozen women? Several of us breakfast club participants are doing our best to organize a book club. (Aspirations of Oprah). So far we have 2 women with a free evening. Me and Gracie. Good night Gracie.

3. The other night Jaycee and I went out back to replace a couple of bulbs in the yard lights. It was right about dusk. Before we could get even one bulb changed we were being assaulted my mosquitoes the size of a Stealth Bomber. As the saying goes, “Discretion is the better part of valor, so we turned tail and ran back inside. Reminded me of the Stephen King story where giant insects were attacking a small town. 1 for the bugs, 0 for the humans.

4. Last, but the best. About a week ago I set up a blog for the food whore. She’s at “http://bayoudreamer.blogspot.com// and I encourage everyone to drop by her site and leave a comment.

Well, I certainly hope I’ve been avoirdupois enough for everyone today. If not, you know where the remote is.


TTFN

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