Monday, September 19, 2005

Auction Block of Faith

My arms above my head;
my face to the uncaring crowd;
all dignity stripped from my self;
I am thrust upon the auction block of faith,
plunged there by the cruel lust of my father.
Not a soul hears my cries of pain,
as a solitary tear slips from my eyes,
to be lost in the pelting rain of my heart.
I am but a cold statue of violated flesh,
no longer feeling, no longer caring.
Ice flows in my veins as a child cries for release.
I am as cold and unfeeling as a marble goddess;
the center of my own universe.
I am a goddess of longing and desire;
round hips, full breasts and lips begging to be kissed;
and naive, so pathetically naïve.

Savagely, my father forces his lust upon my youthful innocence,
and flaunts me upon the auction block of faith.
My psyche slips ever deeper into the abyss of my dreams;
basking in the life sustaining music in which I am mired.
Not a soul hears my pain,
and the ice creeps into my heart,
rendering me into cold, unyielding stone.
A solitary tear slips unnoticed from the corner of my eyes,
lost in the rain of my grief.
No one turns to witness as my heart burst asunder.
They see only the chilling facade of perfect, unfeeling flesh.
And I am cold; so very cold.
So cold that no human touch can ever warm me;
no act of compassion penetrates the stone barrier of which I am a part.
Even as a solitary tear cascades down my face,
I am a cold, unreachable goddess of tortured pain;
round hips, full breasts and lips begging to be kissed.

And all for naught, for I am cast upon the auction block of faith.
Cruel life has taught me to suffer the sins of my father.
Not a soul dare brave the forbidding facade behind which I hide.
Tears of my heart no longer dampen my eyes.
I am a goddess of control;
allowing no access to the vulnerable inner self.
The haunting pain reflected within my eyes is mistaken for haughty disdain.
I am as cold and uncaring as they,
yet the frozen tears upon my cheeks belie my claim.
It matters not, for few care to gaze below the surface.
I am the center of my own universe,
A goddess of longing and desire;
round hips, full breasts and lips begging to be kissed.

2 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

I feel this pain - you have touched what we all think and feel. Please tell me if you have anything published as I would really like to read it. You remind me of Erma Bombeck and at the same time someone who knows the deep side of sadness....

Blogger Nankin said...

Cheri, thanks for your kind words. I've written tons of things, but I haven't found a publisher smart enough to publish anything yet.

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