Mysteries of Life

I’m on a kick about strange thoughts.  I don’t get to visit with hardly anyone anymore.  By the time I get home from work, the last thing I want to do is sit at the computer.   Eight to ten hours a day are enough.

That wasn’t what I started out to talk about.  This morning as I walked to my desk my mind straddled a wild tangent.  The question was, “Does a milk cow’s utter sag when she reaches an AARP age like a woman’s breast does.  After all it just hangs there flapping in the breeze for all to observe.  No bra or nothin’.

A few years ago when I still lived in the Chicago area, there was an article in the paper about some idiot woman in Iowa who drove by a dairy farm everyday.  First she reported the farmer to the Humane Society because she thought the cows were being tortured.  When they laughed, she mounted a campaign to have the farmer put skirts on the cows. It seems she was offended by the sight of their distended utters full of milk.  The same milk she fed her kids to make them grow strong and tall.

Back to where I was, why does a woman’s ass start sagging as she gets older?  I know gravity has won in my case.  My delectably firm, round ass has slipped at least two inches in the last 32 years that I’ve been a desk jockey.  It’s just not fair.

Now to take this a little further, does a man’s cock (is that a PCP word?) sag in the golden autumn of his life?  If it’s sagging, does that mean that it is enlarging in juxtaposition to the pendulous belly hanging over his belt?  How else can he find it at crucial moments?

Wouldn’t that be logical as gravity asserts its unkind force upon the human body?  If my ass and breast can increase in size, certainly a man’s johnson should be able to enjoy new tumescence.  Look at the new obstacles he must overcome.

Ah, the mysteries of life.  Ya’ll come back tomorrow and we can have chittlens, gravy and cornbread and discuss some other utter-ly devastating topic…just like family.

LOL