Heavy Burden

Jimbob's mother is supposed to be released from the rehab center the 28th of this month. Her back surgery and overnight stay in the hospital has stretched into nearly three months, At this point there's no way she can continue to live alone, so the current plan is for her to spend 2 weeks with each of the boys on a rotating basis. That would have to be disorienting to her at best.

Unfortunately, Jimbob is not the nurturing type. Besides which we both have such varied schedules we can't provide the 24/7 care she needs and deserves. That goes for his two brothers and their wives. There's no way she can stay here alone. If she fell even if I was home, I'd have to call 911 to get her up.

Her memory is very erratic and she becomes easily disoriented. Several times in the past months, the nursing staff has called to say she is being unruly and trying to leave on her own. I can just imagine coming home and grandma has wandered off somewhere, or set the house on fire, or fallen and can't get up. There are just too many bad things that could happen.

A few days ago Jimbob told me she had a bladder infection and the nurses had to catheterize her again. Then he says, "I guess we'll have to learn how to do that when Mom comes home." The only "we" in that equation is "me" and I'm really sorry but I refuse. My dear husband would take her to the local emergency room before learning how to insert a catheter.

And I can't see Jimbob's brothers learning either. In the end the majority of the burden is going to fall on the daughter-in-laws. And we all work full time. Grandma is a sweet lady, but I think it's time these guys put their heads together and work out another solution.