When is enough, enough?
One of our colleagues at work was diagnosed with cancer almost two years ago. The doctors treated him with experimental drugs and at one time he was declared cancer free. That lasted maybe 2 or 3 months and then the cancer returned worse than before.
We’ve watched RD’s health go up and down, but never really improving significantly. He’s currently on an oral chemotherapy that causes him extreme pain (as if the cancer wasn’t enough). Most of the time, he can’t walk because the drugs cause such horrible sores on his feet.
RD comes to work whenever he feels up to it, but we all know it’s just a way for him to get out of the house and be with friends. Most of the time, he’s just here.
This morning he called in to say that he was in the ER and wouldn’t be in. More complications from the chemo. His tumor became so large late last year that the doctors did surgery (again) to remove what they could and repair the hernia that it had caused.
I keep wondering to myself, how much more can RD stand? I’m sure if he was my husband I’d want the doctors to do everything possible to save his life, but when is enough, enough? Of course RD doesn’t want to die, but is his quality of life satisfactory enough to make the continued suffering justified?
It’s not a question I can answer. In fact I’m glad I don’t have to make such a horrific decision, but when I see a 50 year old man creeping down the hall, I can’t help but wonder.
posted by Nankin at 3:19 PM
3 Comments:
Nankin, no one knows why these things happen....No knows why some suffer a great deal and others die quickly with very little pain....
We had a friend who got Lukemia, he was 35 yrs. old, had a wife and five young children. His sister was a perfect match for a bone marrow transplant and they went through the procedure and it failed. From the start to the finish he was only around for five months, relatively short for the disease.....He was an awesome man and has been sorely missed...
Another friend of ours had bone cancer and he lasted years with that cancer.....He was in pain but he lingered on and finally died.
Only the Lord knows what each one of us need to learn from the experience and how much we must suffer. I remember my mom always saying, "It's not the problems that we have in life, but how we handle them that counts." The Lord will take him when the right time comes.....
Nan,
How awful. And no one can answer your question, unless it's the one who is suffering. And even THAT comment is controversial.
Cancer is no respecter of age, or gender, or wealth, or anything else far as I can see. There's little or no history of it in my family, but who knows if THAT means anything or not.
I agree with Lucy (above).
John
It's an individual decision with advanced cancer. How much they want to live. How much pain they want to endure.
When my mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer she declared that she did not want to suffer the debilitating effects of the disease like a relative had with a similar cancer. And she simply stopped eating and died after a few months. (I heard that many cancer patients actually die from complications of malnutrition).
Then you read obituaries of those who died "after a long, valiant battle with cancer." Some people just have that will to endure.
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