Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Big Brother is Alive and Well

Every fall we go through the same agony of choosing which insurance coverage we will pay our life savings for. And every year it’s the same line of BS; and every year the BS gets deeper. Bring on the hip waders!

The Company line:
We have spent months negotiating the best price and coverage for you, our employees. You’re lucky to have us on your side. We are here for you and we will go to bat for you. In fact, we’ve already fought long and hard to insure the best possible benefits because we love you.

The lie:
What we’re not telling you is that your rates have doubled; you get less coverage and pay a higher deductible. Our wonderful insurance will pay only for the drugs and procedures that some minimum wage clerk with a high school education is determining from a numbers chart, so get over it. Don’t worry; be happy, we love you.

In the past:
The last couple of years we were privileged (coerced) into participating in a new program that was supposed to let us manage our health by filling out nosy questions online. This program was then supposed to help us correct our health problems. And for doing this, The Company contributed $250 a year toward preventative health care.

Reality-2010
This program is no longer voluntary. If we do not participate, we will be fined $50 a month. There is no $250 incentive for exposing the pitifully naked truth of our lives.

Other Fines
You will be fined if you are overweight. Overweight is to be determined by the insurance provider’s anorexic charts of total delusion. You will be fined if you have high blood pressure. You will be fined if your cholesterol is too high. You will be fined if you smoke. How they will determine if you smoke off company property is not being discussed. In addition, the insurance provider will provide a course of action for us to pursue to improve our numbers. Failure to follow their suggestions will result in another fine.

Conclusions:
Bend over and grab your ankles. Obamacare is here. Brownshirts will be issued to all school children of delusional age. Spy cameras will be used extensively to insure that we the people are kept in line. I believe this program will encourage people to lie.

Instead of treatment, old people will receive death counseling and be given sugar pills. Some will be urged to commit voluntary suicide. (Watch the old movie “Soylent Green.) Next, all infants born with serious (or imagined) physical and/or mental handicaps will be denied treatment.

Will our esteemed politicians be forced to use Obamacare? Will our company execs be forced to submit to the indignity of socialized health care? Hell no! And this is just the beginning.

1 Comments:

Blogger Big Dave T said...

Fined if your blood pressure is too high? What next? Fined if you're of child-bearing age, since bearing children costs health care dollars too? They have to do something about healthcare though. It's getting too crazy.

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