On Aging

I’m going bald.

What’s left is turning gray.

My chin is sprouting spiky hairs.

And I can no longer see to pluck them.

Just seeing is a thing of the past.

I have three pairs of glasses…

and can’t find any of them.

Alas, my trim waist has disappeared

along with my glasses.

I seem to find all the weight

other people have lost.

My arms are adorned with dewlaps.

Gravity is winning the battle.

I now have sags…

where I never had places.

There’s a caboose knocking

at my back door,

obliterating my tracks

as I shuffle along.

Puberty was a picnic…

compared to menopause.

Speaking of pause…

I often get lost…

on the way to somewhere.

If only I could remember

where I was headed…

and why…I’d be just fine.

And, oh…did you say something?

I’m sorry, I didn’t quite hear.

Down the Toilet

Well, not exactly. We called the city approximately 3 to 4 months ago because the toilets were going glub, glub, glub when we ran laundry, the dishwasher or took a shower. They came out and said, yes there's a problem and we'll be back.

A couple of days later, they were out to mark all the utility lines with spray paint and flags. They told Jimbob they'd be back as soon as possible.

You've probably guessed by now that was the last time we've seen a city crew except on the next street over. Things have escalated beyond tolerable. Jimbob called and left a message Saturday, but of course the city doesn't work weekends or MLK day.

Finally, they put in an appearance this morning to say that they couldn't come until next week. All the markings are no longer good and they will need to start over.

Reality TV or People Behaving Poorly

I'm sure that I'm a minority, but I've thought for a long time that reality TV is just an excuse for people to behave like jerks. The more bizarre they act, the more the audience seems to like it.
Just look at Survivor. The producers even come up with "games" to make the program interesting. Now, American Chopper is capitalizing on the rift between father and son. Screaming at each other and throwing chairs is not my idea of entertainment.
Hoarding, Animal Hoarding and other such shows horrify the watcher with the desperate conditions some people live in. The Bachelor and Bachelorette rank right up there with these other sick programs.
Why not have a show titled Suicidal Depression...or Welfare Life...or My Affair With My Father?
Oh, I forgot we currently have My Strange Addiction and Monsters Inside Me. Jerseylicios is beyond words and I gag every time I see an add for Jon and Kate plus 8.
Yeah, I know, it makes money. The all powerful buck has thrown morals and decency out the window.
My idea of reality TV is Dancing With the stars and I've even quit watching that. I'm not a TV snob. I simply don't feel better watching the plight of someone worse off than me. And don't even get me started on TV sitcoms. I get enough insults to my intelligence at work.

If I Could, I Would

I can't take credit for this. I wish I knew who did write it, because I'd be happy to give this person their dues. I've worked hard all my life, scrimped and saved, denied myself the luxuries that so many take for granted and now with the current political climate of giving away my (and your) hard earned cash, I'll be lucky to retire before I die.

Put me in charge ...


Put me in charge of food stamps. I’d get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho’s, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job.

Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I’d do is to get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we’ll test recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine and document all tattoos and piercings. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, smoke or get tats and piercings, then get a job.

Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks? You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your “home” will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place.

In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a “government” job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22-inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the “common good.”

Before you write that I’ve violated someone’s rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules.. Before you say that this would be “demeaning” and ruin their “self esteem,” consider that it wasn’t that long ago that taking someone else’s money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem.

If we are expected to pay for other people’s mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.

Security Words

Type the letters shown below exactly as they are seen. How many times do we see this message when leaving a comment or signing into an account? It wouldn't be so bad, except that the letters make no sense, are in strange colors and are wavy, or stretched to unrecongnizable proportions.

I'm all for being safe, but there are times it takes me 2...3...4 tries to get them right. Maybe I'm in the minority. a little blind, or senile. I just want to leave an occassional comment for my blogging buddies; no top-secret encoded messages that will jepordize national security. I'm not posting plans for a nuclear attack...a terrorist inflitration.

Oh, and by the way, I hope that the new year treats everyone with blessings and prosperity.